SUNDAY SMILE

You can "crack" all the jokes you want "butt" believe it or not, I was able to snap this shot on my iPhone  without falling over laughing.   How could he not tell that he was this overexposed?

AT LONG LAST

Introducing......

                                                                            Athen Tane


He was born July 15 while I was away in California at a wedding.  I was a little disappointed that he didn't wait until his due date (tomorrow) because I was invited to be there for the delivery.  I told him that he was starting off on the wrong foot but then he snuggled up to me and smiled (it wasn't gas, I don't care what you say) so we're all good now.  It was probably a good thing that he arrived a little early because he weighed a healthy 7 pounds, 13 ounces.  He would have weighed well over 8 pounds had he baked two more weeks.

Mattew and Kere call him their little Maori baby.  I am not sure if it's because of his dark skin and flat nose or because he makes faces like this.

Do you see a resemblance? 

Athen loves his woombie and sleeps so well when he's wearing it.  I highly recommend it to any new mother.  Seriously, it's the absolute best.  I think this will be the gift I'll be giving at baby showers for years to come.

A baby (not Athen) snuggled up in a Woombie.

Yesterday Athen had a bath in the Spa Baby another highly recommended baby product.  He loved, loved, loved, it.  Did I mention he loved it?   I have never seen a baby so relaxed in the bath before and trust me, I have bathed a lot of babies in my lifetime.  He just lay there and didn't move or make a sound.  

He's a sweet little baby and is a welcome addition to our family.  

I'M BAAAACK!!!!

In case you didn't know, I was away on vacation for the past two weeks.  I didn't advertise the fact that I was going to be away beforehand because quite frankly, I am smarter than that and I didn't want anyone breaking into our lovely home and stealing any of our lovely things.  There was a break in though while we were gone and while they didn't steal anything, someone slept on my side of the bed and left clean dishes on the counter by the sink to dry.  Matthew assures me it wasn't him so I am left wondering as to who would do such a thing?  Any ideas?

Ian and I had a great time away in Las Vegas and Los Angeles with our youngest son Nathan and his wife Emily.  It was extremely hot and made the 49 degree celsius (with the humidity factored in) we came home to, seem quite pleasant.  I won't bore you with all our goings on but I think I will dedicate my next few posts to some of the things we experienced on our vacation.

Before heading to Las Vegas we spent a day in the state of New York at a roller coaster park called Darien Lake.  When we first pulled up and saw all the cars we almost turned around and left, thinking that we would be hours waiting in line to get on a ride but once inside the park we were pleasantly surprised and hardly waited at all.  When it got too hot we ducked inside one of the retail stores to cool off in the air-conditioning.  Here are a few of the items available for purchase (thank you Emily for taking the pictures).  Remember this is a theme park... with roller coasters... and a water park.  It was just so unexpected.

If you weren't interested in a t-shirt, you could always get a Christian Barbie Doll.  I didn't take a good look at the body proportions because I was too busy judging the immodest dress of the one on the right. That's right, I said judge but it's okay because it's a doll.  Sparkly tights do not make up for a super short skirt.  If I saw  a girl walking down the street wearing that outfit, Christian would be the last thing that crossed my mind. 

3 in 3

Ian strikes again.

• He struggled for a full 30 seconds trying to put his credit card into a parking meter so that the arm would go up and we could get into the parking garage.  All he had to do was press the button and take a ticket.
• When offered a treat, he declined saying that he had just finished brushing all of his teeth.  Really?  All of them?  wow!
• This morning at breakfast he complained that his contacts were bothering him and that he couldn't see properly.  He pulled one out and then told us he thought maybe he had just put one in and perhaps that was the problem.  We broke into fits off laughter.  He actually did have both in and was able to get the last one out.

We've only been on vacation three days. 

KIJIDIOTS

Have you heard of Kijiji before?  Basically it's online classified ads only with pictures and bad spelling and grammar.
How bad can the spelling and grammar be?  Well let's look at some recent examples of ads I pulled off the site.

1.
 i am in need badly of a bed for my 20 month old he broke his bed and know dose not have one so if some one can help me in a bed i would greatly apercated and thank you for your time my number is ...

Where do I even start?  Not one period was used nor any other kind of punctuation mark for that matter. I checked, they do not charge extra for using punctuation, in fact the site is free to use. "know dose"? No I don't, I'm not a pharmacist.   The next time Ian "helps" me in bed I am going to tell him I greatly "apercated" it and thank him for his time.  I will laugh uproariously, he won't get it, I'll tell him,  he still won't get why I find it so funny, this will make laugh even harder.   

2.

Solide oak rocking chair barley used and in great condition.

It really chaffs my butt  when barley sits in my solide oak rocking chair.

3.

hey i have a fit pro up for grabs i'll sellin for $400 o.b.o the bars on it wont be sold with the bike because their not mine it will have a pair of grey one so e mail me with an offer

What????  I'm still not sure what this guy was "sellin"  but apparently it comes with a pair of grey one.  

4.

 have a pariba tourmaline apprased at 2200 selling for 1100 half price it's 2.9 carets also have a 54 caret citrine apprased at 2500 for 1250 also a non apprised 2220 ct emrald and a extreamly rare 2300 ct pigeon blood ruby make offers both are opaqe but keep in mind at that of lowest qualitys are price from 2 to 25 a caret but drop your offers 

Again not one period was used in the above ad. Three chances to spell appraised correctly, two different spellings, one huge fail.  Does no one have spell check nowadays?   It would not have picked up "carets"a mark (^, ‸) placed below the line to indicate a proposed insertion in aprinted or written text, but  it would have picked up "opaqe" and "qualitys" and "emrald" and "extreamly" and "apprased" and....  "Drop your offers"? Is she taking the lowest price submitted?

5. 

Bridemaid Dress color burgandy,size 16,made for tall women. I only wear it once ,need a dryclean , still in very good shape !! Also can be weared strapless.

Did she mean bridesmaid or bride made?  I usually only wear my dresses once before washing too but none of mine can be "weared" strapless.  

Kijidiot 

noun informal

a person who places an ad on Kijiji without checking spelling or grammar. 

Yes, I just made that word up.

  

IF ONLY

If only I could write about the goings on at church.  By that I mean I may write about our beliefs etc. but that is not nearly as entertaining as the characters that attend our local *ward (congregation) which is the thing that I cannot write about. First off, my husband does from time to time read my blog so I would be in huge trouble with him, and second of all,  a number of the congregants read my blog too so I might find myself in trouble with them too (not that any of them would be the actual subject matter except for maybe Darlene, she really does need to start her own blog). Even if I changed the names to protect the crazies innocent, their characters are such that they would be easily identifiable.  Lastly, it just wouldn't be very Christian of me and I am trying to do better in that department (with varying degrees of success).
It's a shame really because every Sunday would supply me with enough blog fodder to last the entire week. I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that sharing about what happens at church any given Sunday is off limits. *sigh*

Can you tell that today was an especially interesting day?...that I am just dying to share it with you?  Well I'm sorry but I can't.  I can tell you that Lilah sitting on my lap this morning put a small empty box into my mouth and not thinking, I blew on it making it whistle really loud at a very quiet moment.  That's a little bit funny and it was a little bit embarrassing but certainly not the most entertaining part of the day.
Oh if only I could say... but as I mentioned before I really am trying to be better... really, really trying... okay I think I need to try a little harder because I know if someone were to call and ask what happened, the story would roll off my tongue without a second thought... this is not an invitation to call, the kids all just left after being here for almost a week so I am looking forward to a quiet night, however, if you were to call to tomorrow...oh?... what's that?...you wouldn't be party to such a thing?...Phew! I'm glad... really!  I don't need the temptation.

*For the record, I love my ward and the people in it.

ODE TO A TALENTED FRIEND

Of all my friends I have a few,

Who are an especially talented crew,

One who is so good at cooking,

I lick the plate when no one's looking,

Another girl I know can write,

I read her blog most every night,

And yet another friend can bake,

And also decorate a cake,

In such a beautiful array,

She asks for money, people pay!

Another friend of mine can sew,

She taught me everything I know,

And all these talents, I may say,

I can do just not as they,

I make good effort but confess,

I cannot do with their finesse,

But there's a talent I can't manage,

It'd leave my laptop with some damage,

Computer jargon, web design?

Those talents honey aren't mine,

Who redesigned my humble blog?

Twas Angela, the glory hog,

She sings, she writes, she bakes, she cooks,

Reviews movies, critiques books,

And if that wasn't near enough,

She does a lot of other stuff,

Like raise two girls with such great care,

and is a wife extraordinaire,

So thank you Ange, you know you rule,

For making me feel extra cool!