SUNDAY SMILE

I know I've been MIA for a while with no good reason really but I'm back now (for today anyway).  I thought I would share something that made me laugh out loud.  Click the link below and enjoy.  8 & 9 are my favourites.
Here's a teaser:

30 Naughtiest Dogs

SUNDAY SMILE-LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

One of the things I was looking forward to when we moved into our new house was meeting our neighbors.  At our old house we couldn't even see our neighbors but at our new house we are close enough that I can wave to my one neighbor through the window if we are both doing dishes at the same time and if I am out on the deck reading I can wave to the neighbor on the other side if she is sitting in her porch reading.
So let me tell you about our neighbors.  The lady on the one side of us is in her eighties.  Her husband is in a nursing home so she has her daughter living with her.  Up until about last week when the weather got colder I could count on her swimming by at least two times a day.  She is an inspiration to me.  I only hope that I am as active as she is when I am that age.
The neighbors on the other side of us are an Italian couple also in their eighties.  Fortunately they are all hard of hearing so they really don't mind when all seven of the grandkids are here whooping and hollering in the water. Anyway... the Italian couple often call me over to chat when I am in the yard,  this can be entertaining as neither of them hear well and both have thick accents.  One day John (83) calls me over.  "I have some cucumbers from my garden I wanna give you." he said to me in his thick Italian accent.
I told him I'd be over in just a minute, I just needed to grab a grocery bag to put them in.  I quickly ducked into the house because I was only dressed in my rather revealing bathing suit and I joked with Emily that I needed to put a cover up on or John might want to give me more than a cucumber. I headed next door and John told me what cucumbers I should pick.  The conversation went something like this.

"Your husband, how come I never see him?"

"He works for a living.  He'll be home tonight."

"He no stay around much?"

"Yes, he's just busy right now because we've been away a lot and he has some catching up to do."

"Ah! When he at home, he spend all his time with you?"

"Mostly but he likes to golf too."

"Okay so here all the cucumber I gonna give you."

"Thank you so much, I appreciate it."

"That's okay.  You give me a little kiss now eh?"

I wouldn't normally kiss the guy but we'd been to his house a couple of times and both he and his wife as I was leaving kissed me... on the lips...I thought it must be an Italian thing. So I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and that's when he slipped in a little tongue action.  I couldn't believe it.  I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.  I pushed him away and gave him a little slap on the chest and I think I said "that's not okay".  I would have slapped him a little harder had he not been 83 and had I not been in total shock.
Later that afternoon we all went for a swim and I dove off the dock.  I happened to glance into their yard and there John was working on the retaining wall on his beach.  The next thing I know, off comes his shirt and he shovels away topless.  I would have put it down to coincidence except a couple of hours later he does the exact same thing.  I go in for another swim and the next thing I know, he is shirtless again.  Needless to say, my family has been having great fun at my expense.

SUNDAY SMILE (a day early)

For those of you who have not seen this yet, it is definitely a must watch.  This is an actual news report that went  on air the other day.

I am left wondering how many people saw these names before it went to air.  Even I knew there was Sum Ting Wong as soon as I saw it.
Thanks to my son Daniel who shared this with me.  It made made a great day even better!

SUNDAY SMILE

It's only two and half short weeks until the big move but who's counting?  There are a lot of mixed emotions being experienced around here and today seemed to be especially tough for me.  I am excited to be moving closer to my kids and grandkids but I have an extended church family here whom I am going to miss.  *sniff*

A friend posted this video on Facebook and it made me smile (and I needed that today) so I thought I would share it with you.  Enjoy!

SUNDAY SMILE

Ellen's minions did all the work for me this week.  Enjoy!

SUNDAY SMILE

I have been doing a bit of online shopping this past week in preparation for Christmas.  These are some of the products I have passed on for various reasons.

1. My butt doesn't need a lawyer but when it does...

 2. I don't think I could ever be thirsty enough.

 3. I don't eat with this orifice.

 4. I find washing my clothes with barf doesn't get them as clean as I would like and I really don't care for the scent.

 5. I am not eating sugar right now but apparently the Aussies love this stuff.

6.  I hear these are very addictive.

 7.I think this goes with the crack sticks.

 8. I'm not even going to comment on this one.

SUNDAY SMILE

Was it just yesterday that I was sitting on a beach in sunny Miami?  It seems like ages ago already.  Apparently there were a few celebrities staying at our posh hotel but the only interesting things I spotted were a couple of overweight old men donning speedos.  Seriously it was like watching the carnage of a road accident as you pass by, you know you shouldn't stare but you just can't seem to help yourself.  I had the good taste not to take any photos, okay that's a lie... I just didn't have my camera with me. We all know my sense of decorum.  To prove it watch this.  If you don't at least smile we should maybe reconsider our friendship.

SUNDAY SMILE

For my friends overseas let me just explain to you that Walmart is a popular department store with prices that tend to be lower than other big stores.  People of all sorts shop there and it can make for quite entertaining people watching.  I have seen many interesting people at the Walmart where I shop including a transvestite with more than a little facial hair, and some people wearing outlandish outfits.  This seems to be so much the trend that there is an actual internet site where people upload photos of rather fascinating characters found shopping at Walmart.  You can check it out at peopleofwalmart.com

*Be warned that some of the pictures and comments on the site are a bit off.*  I have shared with you a sampling of what you can find there.

I am hoping that he was completely without clean underwear and decided to wear his wife's knickers just for that day.  That's definitely one way to take the focus off your white socks with loafers.  I know too many men who will not get that last comment.

I've already signed a paper allowing my kids to put me into a nursing home if I ever leave the house wearing an outfit like this when it's not halloween. She needs to be at least 60 years younger and 30 pounds lighter to pull this look off.  The socks and sandals are a no go at any age. 

I think I need to put a book together showing which outfits are grounds for my children to have me put in a home.  This would be on the first page. My gorilla costume doesn't count kids so don't get excited.

I have a feeling these guys were the inspiration for the song Pants On the Ground.
I've seen this more often than any one person should and I always have to fight the urge to go up to the offender and say something.  I am just wondering when it became cool to waddle like a penguin.  Am I so old that I missed that memo?

In what world is this okay?  

This is why Ian is never allowed to have facial hair...ever!

I hope so honey, for your sake I hope so.

SUNDAY SMILE

This week's episode of the Sunday Smile is brought to you courtesy of my daughter-in-law Emily, who came across these pictures taken by obviously amateur photographers.

I hope you enjoy them as much as we do.

Ugly Hand girl resorted to living in the woods to avoid the cruel stares from others.

 This young man was able to find a girlfriend despite the fact that he wears polish on his toenails to accentuate his lovely sandals.

She looks like a girl but her arms are just so...so...manly.

Inspiration for both Sir Mix A Lot and Queen.  (The one likes big butts and he cannot lie and the other thinks fat bottomed girls make the rockin' world go round.)

"What do you mean, I have girlie legs?"

I know that the one thing is a kid's arm but I am not sure what the other thing is, either way, the girl on the right seems terrified it might touch her while the girl on the left seems impressed. 

This young man is quite the contortionist.  With that bathing suit I am guessing he's from Europe.

 Don't get your knickers in a knot, I am not posting photos of naked bums, just naked arms.  

 See?  It's just another bare arm.

 The fashion police issued this picture as proof that wearing stripes makes you look wider  than you are.

SUNDAY SMILE

PLANES, TRAINS, & AUTOMOBILES

 Showing more crack than the average plumber.

"Hey, I'm up here!"

I think Nathan went to this driving school.

Not quite as famous as the San Francisco Trolley.  I wonder why?

I think he's exhausted.

 My kids have ridden this train before.

I'm not sure what language is on the bus but if she's telling us she's got two, we get the message.

SUNDAY SMILE

I don't know about you, but after Andy Murray's defeat today at Wimbledon I could sure use a smile,

so if you are feeling a little down, I hope this lifts your spirits a little.  If not, it will at least leave you wondering "What the heck????"

A young Steve Buscemi researches his role as Rooster Cockburn. 

I am fighting a tough battle. I so want to say something inappropriate about this picture.  The look on the cats' faces says it all.

In other news... after being abandoned by it's mother, a puppy is "nursed" back to health by Bob who heard that skin to skin contact is best.

Did you know that in the '80s, Chris Rock was a white guy who dabbled in the occult?  True story.  Here's the proof.

 Just a wild guess here but I'm thinking this guy is single.

This guy too.

On a sad note, a family of four was strangled to death when their pet boa escaped from its enclosure. 

You can insert your own inappropriate comment here.  I am not touching this one.

INTRODUCING... & A SUNDAY SMILE

The waiting game is over.  Ammon Benjamin made his way into the world on his actual due date weighing a whopping nine pounds thirteen ounces.  He's a handsome little guy with lots of hair and is already a good sleeper at night.  We're all pretty proud of him.

Ammon 

I have a couple of funny stories to share in the next week or two when I'm not quite so busy with my Nona duties.  In the meantime enjoy this little Sunday Smile.

SUNDAY SMILE

I laughed out loud.  

SUNDAY SMILE

Want a good laugh?  Check out this news article. We grow our men crazy here in Canada.

Drunk Abbotsford men warned after naked car wash spin | CTV News


On another note....Happy Easter!

SUNDAY SMILE

How very clever.

SUNDAY SMILE

I've debated posting this photo but it's just so funny I cannot resist and after all I am the Blush Magnet right?  I may as well live up to the moniker.

If you are easily offended perhaps you shouldn't check this photo out too closely it may just make you blush and it will definitely make you laugh out loud.

SUNDAY SMILE

Remember these?   Well, I've found some more.  Oh how times have changed.

I did receive a vacuum cleaner  once for Christmas many, many, years ago.  Yes, Ian is still alive.   I was young and stupid back then.

Why was I not aware of this? What a horrible mother I was insisting that my kids drink water or fruit juice.

 

The best fifteen cents a mother ever spent.

Am I the only one that detects some sexual overtones here?

Men are better than women?  Yeah, if you're gay!  There's some serious man-on-man eye contact going on there. I think this is the precursor to Brokeback Mountain.  "Nice knickerbockers friend"  

"Why, thank you." This ad was definitely written by a gay man.

Tracy Harper's mom was more concerned about  her daughter looking "fashionable" than she was about her daughter being labeled chubby. Tracy was born a few decades too early, by today's standards she's practically anorexic.

And we're concerned about our kids playing with toys manufactured in China. 

Cultivate alcoholism more like it.

Because I want nothing but the best for my boys. 

And here all these years I've been keeping cellophane away from my babies.

Can anyone say sexist?  Finest projection? Just what is it they're selling? Do you think those twins are adopted?

So not true! Trust me on this one.

Dear Adman; Sooner or later your wife will drive home the fact she hates this ad by running over you.

Blow in my face buddy and see the places you'll go!