Sunday, February 26, 2012


Remember Pet Peeve # 4 from yesterday?  Well let me tell you a story. It's kind of long but bear with me.

Last night, Emily, Nathan, and I went out for dinner at Kelsey's, a local family friendly steakhouse.  We were seated at a booth in a corner of the restaurant and were patiently waiting for our meals to arrive.  Seated in the booth behind us were two guys and a girl (they looked to be in their late twenties to early thirties).  One of the guys kept dropping the f bomb loud enough that it was starting to bother me.  Nathan looked back over the booth and asked the guy if he would mind his language.  The guy didn't take it well.
"Are you kidding me right now?  Are you serious?" he asked.
Nathan told him that yes he was serious, that he didn't swear and he didn't appreciate listening to it.
The guy responded by asking him to come over to his table and ask him to his face, so Nathan did.  This really got him going and I was worried the idiot was going to clock Nathan.  Nathan just calmly turned away and sat back down.  Had we not ordered our food, I would have got up and left at this point but as we had given our order some time before I felt it was too late to cancel it.  They were quiet for a short time afterward and we thought the problem was solved. Our food came and we tried to enjoy our meal but the idiot behind us began again to swear loudly. When I stood up a little to to look over the top of the booth and frown at the guy, he held up his beer glass and said "That's for you".  I didn't respond.  He got up shortly after and went to visit the men's room.  As he walked back to his seat, he took a longer way around just so that he could give us the stare down.  I stared right back,  He wasn't intimidating me. His foul language continued throughout our whole meal and by the time we were ready to leave, I was completely fed up. He was being a total jerk and he knew it.  Nathan and Emily walked to the door ahead of me while I put the receipt in my purse and got my coat on.  I stopped at the jerk's table on my way out and asked. "Do you kiss your boyfriend with that potty mouth?" In hindsight, I realize that this was probably not the most diplomatic way to handle the situation but I had had enough.  I looked at the glasses on their table and realized that there had been a fair bit of drinking going on.  He promptly told me to go  f#&@ myself and then his girlfriend joined in on the tirade.   I stood calmly  as they both swore at me loudly enough that the customers all around stopped their own conversations to listen.  The guy then told me to let my boyfriend fight his own battles (this should give you an indication of how much drinking had been going on).
"He's not my boyfriend, he's my son." I corrected him (but thanks for making my night). "and I find the language you are using extremely offensive."
"Get the F out of here" was his reply "go on you F 'ing moron".

I did leave his table and went and got the manager.  I told him they needed to stop serving drinks to that table because they had had more than enough.  When the guy realized I was getting the manager, he got up from the table and approached Nathan and Emily who were standing at the front entrance waiting for me.  Nathan thought that he was coming to apologize but he was actually going over to get things heated up again.  I have to say I am proud of my son for keeping it calm without backing down.  The manager went over to him and made a half hearted attempt to get the guy to come away.  We just turned away and left.

You might ask why we didn't just switch to another table but there were no available tables out of earshot of the guy, he was that loud.  I would have spoken to our waitress about it too but unfortunately the service was not all that great and I didn't even see her from the time we were served our dinner until the time she brought the bill.  I don't think I will be going back.

So there you have it, a nice quiet dinner together with my son and daughter-in-law almost ended up in a bar brawl.  And who says Mormons don't know how to have fun?

Saturday, February 25, 2012


A number of years ago we had a young girl come and live with us for the summer while she worked away from home.  After she got settled into her new room we sat and chatted for a few minutes.
 "Have you got any pets?" I asked.
 "Why?" she replied "Do you want some?"
I was confused and my face must have betrayed the fact.
"What did you ask me?" she inquired.
"I asked if you had any pets." was my reply.
"Oh" she laughed "I thought you said pads (as in the feminine kind)."
We both had a good laugh.

If you were to ask me today if I have any pets my answer would be " Oh I have many a peeves that is."
 Here are a few of them in no particular order.
I am sure I will offend with some of these so maybe you should stop reading now.

1. People who insist on smoking in non designated smoking areas.  I don't care to breathe in their noxious fumes as I leave the mall, or enter the hospital, or go to get a donut at Tim Hortons. (I just made my father in law jealous with that last one.)
2. Teenage pregnancy.  Obviously sex education is not working. Teenage pregnancy is more prevalent now than ever before.  Here's a suggestion...turn off MTV and start teaching some morals. Girls respect yourselves!
3. People who let their kids run wild in public places and think it's cute.  Trust me, it's not.
4. People who use foul language in public.. in particular the F bomb.  I turn a movie off on the second occurrence of the word.  Yes, I find it that offensive.  I have a whole blog to post on that tomorrow.  Trust me it is a good one.  You won't want to miss it.
5. People who don't use their manners.  Honestly, how hard is it to say please and thank you?

The list goes on but I will stop here.

Stay tuned for more on number 4.

Thursday, February 16, 2012


This happened a long time ago so I can't remember who came up with the idea but when my friend  Margaret was hosting a monthly  card game night for a small group of her friends all of whom had husbands who had undergone a vasectomy in the year previous, the plan was hatched to poke a little fun at them.  My friend's husband had endured the procedure just a few weeks prior to this party and she felt he had recovered enough that he would enjoy a good laugh about it.

I immediately set to work making up membership cards to the Clip It Club with the idea that I would arrive at the door looking for recruitments to join a support group for men.  I was at my creative zenith as I made up flyers (all this in the day before home computers) offering discounts on life size replicas of the needle used, and a video of the actual procedure. "Don't just tell your friends, SHOW THEM" was the tagline. I even made up an acrostic poem.

V is for vasectomy, that is what you had.
A is for the agony, boy did it feel bad.

That's all I can remember of the poem but you can imagine that the rest was pretty funny.

At the appointed time, I packed up all the flyers, hopped into my car and drove to my friends house with a huge grin on my face.  This stuff was funny and I knew it.  If it got into the right hands I would soon be  writing for SNL.  I bounced out of the car and flew up to the front door and delivered a sharp knock.  My friend answered the door and I made my grand entrance announcing loudly that I was looking for some men to join the Clip It Club.  I launched into my spiel reciting my poem and handing out the flyers and membership cards I had painstakingly made.  My enthusiasm began to wane rapidly though when I realized that I was being greeted with stony silence instead of the expected rolling on the floor laughter.   I grabbed a carrot stick from the vegetable tray sitting on the table and mumbled something about having to get home then made a very hasty retreat  back out the door.

 I called my friend the next day to see what had gone so terribly wrong.  She told me that she and one of the other women had thought it was the funniest thing they'd heard but because no one else even cracked a smile they thought it best to follow suit.  I complained to her about how embarrassed I had felt but I got no sympathy.  "You were embarrassed?  she said "I had to sit there the entire night with them."   Point taken.

 I guess men who have recently had "that" operation can be a bit short and snippy.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Wonder why I haven't been posting on my blog recently?  Well I have been busy making this
 and this

 and this

 and these (they're taggy blankies)

 and this

 and this

 and this sweet little number.

And there was also a trip to California to celebrate this guy's milestone birthday.
I realize now why he is still not married... he's waiting to find a woman just like me.  Good luck on that one Adam, you're going to have to lower your standards.
He was a very gracious host and I was surprised (I shouldn't have been) at his thoughtfulness (buying special food items for us to enjoy and a pristine apartment for us to stay in, it wasn't when we left). We thoroughly enjoyed every minute of our trip... well minus my minor blow up in the car when someone criticized my driving.  Oh and there was a trip to San Diego one day to go here...

To all my LDS friends, this should be on your bucket list.  It was absolutely beautiful.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


It's funny that when we happen upon a life changing moment we often don't recognize it for what it is.  Sure there are plenty of life changing moments that we do recognize, like having a baby (definitely a game changer) or winning the lottery (don't you wish?) but for the most part it is only looking back that we see how truly life changing a certain moment was.
Thirty two years ago today (okay I really don't like saying that because it makes me sound old and I'm not!) I opened the door to a couple of young men. One of them would become my husband.  I remember it as if it were yesterday and so does he (how sweet).  If it had been a movie and there was an accompanying soundtrack I may have clued in to the fact that I would shortly be falling in love but this is real life and so there was no violin music and to be honest it wasn't even love at first sight (well maybe for him because let's face it how hard would it be not to fall in love me immediately).  It wasn't long though before I was crushing on the young man with that cute Kiwi accent which was not a good thing because when I try to impress things usually go wrong. I won't bore you with all the details but I will tell you  I once laughed so hard I farted... LOUDLY... really loudly in front of him (so embarrassing). It wasn't long after that I earned the nickname Frank.
Who knew that the first time I fell in love it would be my last time too?