HIDDEN TALENTS

I never realized how talented the members of my church congregation were until last year when the  Activities Committee held a talent night.  There were a few of the expected performances of piano playing, singing etc from those that we knew to possess these talents.  It was the unexpected that made the evening so entertaining.

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  We follow a health code that includes not drinking alcohol and not smoking among other things.  With that in mind, you can imagine the horrified looks on the faces of the audience when a young woman brought her boyfriend to the festivities, guitar in hand, to perform "Whiskey Lullaby" (a song about a couple committing suicide by drinking themselves to death). She had not informed the organizer that she was even performing and was not on the program but he fit her in so as not to offend her.   I might add that this was a family event and there were a number of young children in the audience. There was some polite applause at the end of her song and then she announced they had another song to perform.  I heard my son mutter "I didn't hear anyone asking for an encore". I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard. 

The other highlight of the evening for me came when the emcee announced that "little Sarah(6) is going to show us her paintings".  I was sitting next to a little six year old girl and she turned to me, eyes wide, took a sharp intake of breath and exclaimed "oh!!!!!".  I thought at first she was surprised because she didn't realize that a talent could be showing your artwork.  Little Sarah held her paintings up for all to see and was thrilled with the applause that ensued.  The little girl sitting next to me let out a huge sigh of relief and revealed to me " I thought he said Sarah was going to show us her panties."  Again, I had to leave the room.

Next month, we will be holding a Talent Night again...  I can hardly wait.

THE TALENTED MR. IAN

I fear that if I continue to blog about my dear husband, I will not  remain married for long but tonight I just cannot help myself.  Here is the gist of a conversation we had last night.

Me (coming into the bedroom, finding him with remote in hand).  "Whatcha watching?"

Ian: "The Talented Mr. Ripley."

Me: "Really???"

"Yes,  why have you seen it?'

"No, but you have."

"No I haven't."

"Ah yes you have, a long time ago, you didn't like it and you told me not to bother watching it, that I wouldn't like it either."

"I'm pretty sure I haven't seen it."

I will interject at this point and tell you that this is the same man whom in the space of a year rented the same movie four times telling me it must be a good one because it had both Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson in it.  It wasn't.  The fourth time he brought it home, I thought  he was joking.  He wasn't.   Back to our conversation.

"Trust me Ian, you've seen it and anyway I thought you'd be watching the hockey game. (Canada vs US Olympic game)

"It's not on"

"Yes it is.  It started at seven forty"

"Well we don't get it then"

"What do you mean?"

"I've been through the channels and I'm telling you we don't get it."

"We've been getting the other olympic events so I'm pretty sure we get it." I take the remote from his hands, scroll through the guide, click on a channel and voila! the hockey game appears on the screen.  He is suitably impressed with my channel finding skills.


Fast forward to tonight.

Ian: " I watched the rest of that movie last night in between watching the game. "(Such a man thing.)

"Did you remember having seen it?"

"No, but I didn't like it... you wouldn't either."

D'S ADVENTURE

Ian has told me that if I continue to blog about my friends, I soon won't have any left. Oh please, does he not  know how many friends I have? ... and anyway, I do try to keep their identity hidden although some of my friends are rather unique characters so those that know them can easily guess who I am talking about.  I did however get permission to share this story and I hope I can do it justice.

My friend D had not been feeling very well of late.  She had been experiencing bouts of dizziness and decided that she would go and get it seen to.  It's here that I have to mention that the city we live in has two hospitals.  They are both pretty old and outdated and we are all anxious for the brand new, state of the art hospital to open early next year.

D decided to walk (she doesn't drive) to the hospital to be seen at the emergency department.  Upon arrival at the hospital she discovered that the one she was at didn't have an emergency department.  The hospital with the emergency department was only a few blocks away but D was exhausted from all the walking she had done and didn't relish the thought of walking that little bit more and sitting in the emergency department for a few hours.

 "I think I'm having a stroke" she announced to the person at the front desk.  Seeing her limp arm and awkward gait, the person immediately called for an ambulance and D was driven the few blocks to the other hospital  where she bypassed all the other patients sitting in the waiting room and was tended to right away.  The dizziness she had been experiencing was caused by fluid in the inner ear, and apparently the jostling and bumping from the ride in the ambulance while lying prone fixed the problem. She was perfectly fine.

You are probably at this point wondering 'when does this story get funny?'   D suffered a stroke when she was just ten years old that left her paralyzed on one side of her body. (Okay, I know that's not funny) The fact that she used this to her advantage, creating panic all around her, to me was brilliant.  Well done D, well done.

LOVE NOTES

I am not allowed to put things on my fridge.  Wait, let me rephrase that.  Ian prefers that I not put things on the fridge.  I get no sympathy when I bemoan the fact that all my friends have photos of their kids and grandkids slathered all over theirs.  I felt like I scored a small victory a couple of years ago when he relented a little and made the compromise to allow small souvenir magnets from places we have visited to be placed on the side of the fridge(the side no one can see).

 A year ago I was feeling particularly daring and I purchased a set of valentine phrase magnets from the dollar store and placed them right on the front of the fridge.  Ian was not impressed but said he could put up with them but just until Valentine's Day was over.  I left him little notes.  The kids came home for the family day weekend and we all left little notes on the fridge.  The day after Valentine's Day Ian asked if he could throw them out.  I protested saying I would take them down but they were not to be thrown out,  I would save them for the next year.  It was at this point that he gave me his little smirk.  Most would read this expression as "as soon as you're not paying attention, I'm turfing them out".  I knew otherwise.  What he really meant was " I know you, you won't have a clue where you put them a year from now."  It was all good, we were both happy.
I put them in a safe place and miracle of miracles, I remembered where that spot was...

and miracle of miracles he left me a message.