SCARY

Halloween is just around the corner so with that in mind, I am going to share with you something so bone chillingly scary that you may not  be able to sleep tonight.  Reader beware. Are you ready for it?
I am slowly turning into my husband. It's true.  The change was imperceptible at first but with the recent change in our family circumstances (becoming empty-nesters) it has become very evident indeed.
I have often joked over the years that my husband suffers from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) mixed with AR (Anal Retentiveness).  He likes things neat and organized, cupboard doors shut, and things put away. Clutter drives him crazy.
I on the other hand, never worried much about those types of things.  I liked things to be clean and tidy too but with five kids in the house,  I wouldn't get bent of shape when they weren't.  Let's put it this way, I had no trouble sleeping at night knowing that if I opened my closet door it would take major effort to get it closed again.
But now, I've started making shopping lists and actually taking them to the store and following them, a couple of weeks ago, I purchased a label maker, and I've even started organizing closets... yes... closets... those places that most people will never see. Scary my friends, very scary.

My new toy.

DVD closet arranged alphabetically

                                               Even the shelves got labeled.

A RARE SIGHT

We see it all the time, a little gap toothed grin from the cutest little girl I know but as soon as the camera comes out, it disappears.  The only trick we know is to hang her upside down by one leg.  It works like a charm and ensures a happy face but there is always a fear in the back of my mind that someone is going to place a call to  CAS (child welfare services).

I pulled the camera out the other day and again the smile disappeared and was replaced with the usual indifferent look.

Then all of a sudden... voila....a real honest to goodness smile.

AWESOME!!!!!!

PLAYING CUPID

So my husband turns to me today and asks if I wouldn't mind passing on an acquaintance's email to a certain young woman in our church congregation.  I was a little reluctant because I have never met this man and felt like I couldn't vouch for the guy's character even if my husband assured me that he could.
Me:  How old is this guy?
Ian: mmmm.... I'm not sure.
You have to have some sort of idea.
In his thirties maybe?
Oh that really narrows it down. Closer to twenty nine or to forty?
Maybe in the middle?
So, is he good looking?
Um... I don't know.
He looks totally panic stricken at this question. Is he afraid I will think he is gay if he answers yes? It is an offense to their masculinity to even suggest that they notice another man's appearance. Apparently, straight guys are not good judges of other guys looks.  Really?   I don't believe it, not one little bit.  They just won't admit it.

NAUGHTY BUT FUNNY

The highlight of  a trip to a chinese restaurant for my family is the reading of the fortune cookies at the end of our meal.  There is always an eruption of laughter and sometimes tears of mirth as we each take turns announcing our fortunes.  You are probably asking yourself what's so funny about those little gems of wisdom slipped into cookies hard enough to break teeth.  Well truthfully, they're not that funny at all... until you follow our tradition of adding the words "in bed" to the end of your fortune.
While cleaning out my purse today, I came across a few of the fortunes that I kept.
DISCLAIMER: If you think you may be offended, stop reading here.

You are capable, competent, creative and careful. (in bed)
You are cheerful and well liked. (in bed)
You have balance and foresight, and you can envision the ideal direction that events should take.(in bed)
And my favourite.... If you need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm. (in bed)

PS  My husband does not take part in the merriment but we are sure to read his out too.  On occasion I have even seen him smile.

PONDERING PORCELAIN

Standing outside a public washroom in Sardinia, I overheard a couple of American women complaining about the toilets, one even refusing to use the facilities for reasons she referred to as disgusting.  I was a little leery about going in but I really, really needed to go.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the stall was actually quite clean but laughed when I saw the toilet itself, complete with a spot to place your feet.  The women in line had considered the idea of squatting to pee ridiculous and gross. Really?  Putting your bare bum on a toilet seat where hundreds of others have isn't?  I think I prefer the squatting thing but then again I have pretty good balance.

PHIL-OSOPHY

I learned three very important things from my friend Phil while in Italy.

1. It's never too early in the morning for gelato.
2. It's never too late at night for gelato.
3. It's always a good time for gelato.

He's right!