SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

Ian and I were away last week and our first item of business when we returned was checking the mailbox. The usual ritual is...  I go through the mail and separate it into piles of junk, bills, just for Ian, and just for me.  I rarely receive mail just for me other than a number of banks informing me that I am pre-approved for their credit card.  They obviously didn't get my message that I am smarter than that.

I was intrigued when I discovered an envelope addressed to me.  It was a business envelope (beige, with a little window in the front) and I couldn't decipher who the sender was.  My curiosity was piqued. Was it a government check perhaps?  I don't know why that thought would even occur to me but apparently unmarked mail  equals an unexpected windfall in my mind anyway. It never has before but I remain hopefully optimistic.

Can you feel the excitement building?  Are you wondering what wonderful surprise lay within that ordinary looking envelope?  Well here it is... ready for it?... a letter informing me that now that I am ancient fifty, it is time to have cancer screening for my colon.   That pretty much made my day... not!  The enclosed pamphlet provided some entertaining reading material.   Apparently there are two ways to screen for colon cancer.  The first requires a special kit that you bring home to take three samples (you can guess what of) over the course of ten days.  The second requires a visit to the hospital where basically they shove a special camera up your butt to look for signs ( I don't think they mean crop circles).  Neither one sounds in the least appealing.  I am also left asking questions... who checks the samples?  What is their job title?  How does that go down on a first date?  Is there ever a second date?  How long do you have to go to school to become qualified?  Yes, I have many questions.  Maybe I could apply for that job after all I know crap when I see it!