Monday, November 2, 2009


Technotard tekno-tard 
noun: techno- relating to technology and its use + tard- from the latin tardus meaning slow.
Okay, so it's not really a word.  I made it up. If it was a real word and you could actually look it up in a dictionary, I am sure you would find my husband's name under it as a definition.  I love my husband dearly.  As I have mentioned before, he has many talents but working with an appliance that has anything more than an on/off switch is going to be tough for him. This is especially true when it comes to our home theatre system.
He can...
turn on the TV
turn on the satellite receiver
change channels

He cannot...
select the right input for the DVD player
load the DVD player
turn on the surround sound
Apple TV? what's that?

It's not that he's never been shown.  I've given up trying to explain to him what to do.  It goes in one ear and out the other.  He doesn't pay attention because he figures he can get someone else to do it. That works when there is actually someone else in the house.   I once came home to find him annoyed at missing a crucial basketball game because he had somehow managed to press the favourites button on the remote that caused the TV guide to only display a list of our ten favourite channels.  It took me less than thirty seconds to realize what he had done and rectify the problem.
When it comes to Ian and technology, I feel like a genius.  He points out to me that he only does it to make me feel needed and useful.  Really?  Why then, did he have to go out for dinner one night because he couldn't figure out how to work the oven to heat the casserole I'd left out?

"I wasn't able to turn the oven on, is there a trick to it?"

"Did you try blowing in its ear?"

Not only am I technogenius, I am a comedienne as well.

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