TOILET HUMOUR

Before dinner last night I drank a huge glass of water and I had another again with my meal.  Needless to say, an hour or so later my bladder was feeling the strain.  I was at a friend's house at this point so I asked to use her toilet.  I went into the bathroom and saw this little contraption (minus the handles) sitting on the toilet.

You can file this under TMI (too much information) but when I pee...

• I do not trickle.
• it comes out fast and under high pressure.
• I cannot stop.

So....I sat on the toilet and all of a sudden I heard splashing on the tile floor.  I looked down to see the stream shooting across the the channel, over the edge and onto the floor and there was nothing I could do to stop the flood.  I tried moving farther back on the seat but that just made matters worse as my new position caused the stream to arc higher to the point that it almost reached the wall in front of me. I shifted again and the stream now escaped over the edges of the channel and onto the rest of the seat. I could only watch helplessly as my own personal Niagara Falls formed a lake on the bathroom floor.  

I asked for a rag, mopped up the floor (it took a while), and left to run some other errands in town  red faced and with slightly damp undies.  I know... TMI

FASHIONISTA

While in town grocery shopping today my lovely daughter-in-law suggested we stop by Winners to check out their amazing end of summer, clearance sale.  Being of Scottish descent I could not pass up the opportunity to save some money so off we went.   As we rifled through the clearance racks, I came across the ghastliest pair of pants I had ever seen.  It didn't surprise me that they were on sale for the very reduced price of three dollars.  I showed them to Emily and we had a good laugh.  I put them back on the rack and walked away but then the thought came to me that for three dollars I could have some fun so I put them in the cart and purchased them.

When I got home from shopping I slipped out of the jeans I was wearing and donned my new ghastly pants so that Ian would think that I had worn them in town. (This was done in the driveway before I entered the house... and I wonder why embarrassing things happen to me.)

Emily and I both were doubled over in laughter as we went into the house.  It was hard to wipe the smiles off our faces as Ian entered the room, in fact Emily hid her face behind the fridge door as she put groceries away. I waited for his reaction.

"What are you smiling about" he asked.

"Nothing" I replied.

"You were waiting for me to say something about the pants right?" (he thought I was testing to see if he would even notice them)

"Don't  you like them?"

"Actually I do."

His reaction surprised me and totally disappointed me.  It was so not what I was expecting.

"You like them?!!!!"

"Yes, why?  What's wrong with them?"

"I look like a peacock!"


This is why Ian is not allowed to buy me clothes.

I wore the pants for the rest of the night waiting to hear the reaction from both Matthew and Nathan.  Matthew didn't say a thing although he told me later he now knew where his brothers got their sense of style and Nathan said something about the '70s wanting their pants back.

I still can't believe that my husband would be okay with me going out in public with these on.

SUNDAY SMILE

PLANES, TRAINS, & AUTOMOBILES

 Showing more crack than the average plumber.

"Hey, I'm up here!"

I think Nathan went to this driving school.

Not quite as famous as the San Francisco Trolley.  I wonder why?

I think he's exhausted.

 My kids have ridden this train before.

I'm not sure what language is on the bus but if she's telling us she's got two, we get the message.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

I have had many debates with my American friends over the years about America's love affair with guns.   I am going to have to keep this one in my arsenal of arguments.

You have to read this. (the whole thing)

CUTENESS

I bought the sweetest clothes pegs last week.  They almost make hanging laundry out a treat...almost.

How cute are these?

and these?

(The quilt Emily made for her new niece. It has the softest pink fabric on the back.)

(a quilt I made that somebody wanted me to post so they could pin it on Pinterest) Pin away E.

(Not as funny as I thought it would be.)

PLAYGROUND FAIL

Apparently I am not the only adult who has difficulty with children's playground equipment.

OH WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE SUMMERTIME?

Did you think I fell off the face of the earth?  I can't believe I have let so much time pass without writing a post for my blog.  I blame it on...

• the weather.  It has been absolutely amazing with sunshine and warm temperatures. Our Canadian winters are cold and long so I take full advantage of the summer.
• the grandkids. They have been visiting lots and we've been having tons of fun.
• parties.  I have hosted a couple and been to a couple.   I think/hope we're done for a while although I do have an Olympics party planned for the family at some point this summer.
• the flu.  I had the grandkids here when the first one got it. They went home the next day and one by one the entire family came down with it.  Ian got it a couple of weeks later and kindly passed it on to me.

There's been a change in the nighttime noises here.  The sound of crickets is drowning out the song of the frogs in the pond and it is a sure sign that we are heading into the second half of summer.  I feel like there is much still to do with the kids before September when both WIlliam and Maia head off to school and I won't get to see them as much.

I hope you're enjoying your summer as much as I am.