FIRE'S BURNING

Yesterday I caught my son lighting birch bark on fire with a magnifying glass... he's 27... and his three year old son was with him.  When confronted he explained that he was teaching his son survival skills.  As if  I was fooled.  There would have been no "Look son, the convex lens of a magnifying glass concentrates the rays of the sun into a point creating enough heat to start fires."   It would have been "Hey son, come check out all the cool  stuff you can burn with this thing."

He forgets I am his mother and we have history.  This is the same son who with his brothers, lit my giant pillar candle on fire by spraying WD40 at the flame.  They would never have been caught except someone was foolish enough to video tape it.

FRUIT PIZZA

I made fruit pizza on the weekend.  I hadn't made it in a while but was asked a couple of weeks ago for the recipe and that was just the incentive I needed, well that and an excuse to share it (two pizzas for two people is just pure gluttony). So when both my son-in-law and his sister invited us out to their family cottage it provided the perfect opportunity to make our family favourite recipe. 

Look what you missed out Nathan.  Was Taylor Swift worth it?  

Matthew & Kere, I will make this for you next month when we celebrate your birthdays.

For the rest of you, here is the recipe so you can make it yourself.  

The reason this pizza tastes so good is the base. I use a coconut sugar cookie recipe and I think it's the coconut that compliments the fruit so well.

I find the recipe for the cookies makes more than enough for two bases but not quite enough for three so I just make some cookies from the leftover dough. For that, you make little balls, place them on a cookie sheet and flatten with the bottom of a glass that is greased in butter and dipped in sugar. So yummy! They were one of the kids favourites growing up. 

Here's the recipe:

Cookie base:

2 cups sugar

2 cups margarine or butter softened

1 cup flaked coconut

1 teaspoon vanilla

3 cups flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

Heat oven to 350. Mix sugar, margarine, coconut and vanilla in a large bowl. Stir in remaining ingredients.

Press into two pizza pans. Bake until edges are golden and middle looks pretty cooked. (I honestly can't remember how long. I can just tell when it's done by looking at it.) Note: The dough rises and spreads if it is put on too thick so watch it doesn't spill over.

Filling:

12 oz cream cheese

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup powdered sugar

Mix until smooth, divide in half and spread over cooled pizzas.

Topping can be any type of fruit you like. I found kiwis and bananas the best tasting but always added strawberries, raspberries etc. for colour. It is easiest to layer from the outside in.

When I make them for my family, I rarely put a glaze on top but if I am taking them out I add the glaze just to keep the fruit from discolouring (bananas) and it makes it shiny and prettier. You can buy a glaze but it is really simple to make. The best way to put it on is with a pastry brush. 

THINGS

Tonight, after a big meal, my husband helped do the dishes and tidy the kitchen and I discovered that he refers to just about everything I cook with as a "thing".  

Where does your "thing" (lid to the blender) go?

Does your "thing"(silicone spatula) go in the top drawer?

Do you put your"thing" (steamer for the rice cooker) on first or your other "thing"(bowl for the rice cooker)?

Do you want me to put your "thing"(measuring cup) in the dishwasher?



While I really appreciate his help, the task takes almost twice as long as I turn to look to see what he's referring to all the time.    It can be exasperating.

This is all one sided.  If I ever refer to his "thing" it can only mean one "thing".

BIGGER PROBLEMS

So much for the mouse problem, I now have a family of turkeys frequenting  my lawn each day.  I thought it was pretty funny when they first showed up.  So did the painter and the plumber.  We discovered that the slamming of the front door would send them into a gobbling frenzy.  I caught the painter going out one afternoon and when he got no response from the slamming door he purposely opened the door and slammed it shut extra hard just set them off.  I reminded him he was sixty not six.

The other day I caught one of them sunning itself on my deck.  

Again funny but the mess it left behind did not impress me, neither did the mess that came inside from the bottom of someone's shoe.  

I chased them off but they came back.  I threatened them with a big stick and still they came back.   I resorted to explaining to them that if I caught them pooping on my deck again, I didn't care who they belonged to, they would end up in my freezer.  So far so good.  I haven't seen them since which leaves me to wonder...

a) Can turkeys understand humanspeak?

b) Have my neighbours bugged my house, overheard me and kept them safe in their coop?

c) Did someone beat me to following through with the threat?

I also find it strangely coincidental that a single friend of mine posted as her facebook status that she was roasting a turkey. Very suspicious indeed.

PROOF

Dear Unbelieving Friend;


Perhaps now you will believe that it is an actual nail file and nothing but a nail file.  My nails have never been happier.

Sincerely Yours,

The Friend With Impeccable Nails

It's a what?????

Important facts to know before I relate this story.  

1. The night stand beside my bed has two large, deep drawers.

2. The one drawer is reserved for books that I am reading. (I can actually open this one without a struggle)

3. The other drawer is a catchall where I keep things that don't really have a proper place. (No comments Angela)

4. These drawers are about the last thing in my house that get tidied up on a regular basis.

5. I am easily distracted.

Here is how I embarrassed myself last week...

My daughter asked for some software cds for her computer (my old one).  I knew exactly where to find the actual software but could not find the paper that had the activation keys on it.  It dawned on me that I might find it in the night stand so I went to the bedroom and started digging through the drawer.  While searching for the paper I became distracted looking at old birthday cards etc. and was oblivious to the fact that I had both a painter and a plumber in the house, that my bedroom door was wide open, and that I was in full view of anyone that happened to walk past the door.

I came across a long silver cylindrical object.  I pulled it out of the drawer and puzzled over what it was and why it was in there.  I noticed that it had a button on one side so I pressed it and it made a vibrating noise.  I was kneeling on the floor pressing it on and off trying to figure out what it was and looked up just in time to see the painter walk by and glance my way.  He did a bit of a double take and then kept going.  It was then that I remembered what the thing was...

...an electric nail file.  There is a little hole at the top where you place different attachments.  I was mortified because I knew exactly what the painter was probably thinking.   Today when he came back, I had the thing sitting out in a very prominent spot with the box of attachments sitting beside it.  In case he didn't see it, tomorrow I will be filing my nails while I ask him how much longer until he's done the work.