NAUGHTY BUT FUNNY

The highlight of  a trip to a chinese restaurant for my family is the reading of the fortune cookies at the end of our meal.  There is always an eruption of laughter and sometimes tears of mirth as we each take turns announcing our fortunes.  You are probably asking yourself what's so funny about those little gems of wisdom slipped into cookies hard enough to break teeth.  Well truthfully, they're not that funny at all... until you follow our tradition of adding the words "in bed" to the end of your fortune.
While cleaning out my purse today, I came across a few of the fortunes that I kept.
DISCLAIMER: If you think you may be offended, stop reading here.

You are capable, competent, creative and careful. (in bed)
You are cheerful and well liked. (in bed)
You have balance and foresight, and you can envision the ideal direction that events should take.(in bed)
And my favourite.... If you need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm. (in bed)

PS  My husband does not take part in the merriment but we are sure to read his out too.  On occasion I have even seen him smile.

PONDERING PORCELAIN

Standing outside a public washroom in Sardinia, I overheard a couple of American women complaining about the toilets, one even refusing to use the facilities for reasons she referred to as disgusting.  I was a little leery about going in but I really, really needed to go.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the stall was actually quite clean but laughed when I saw the toilet itself, complete with a spot to place your feet.  The women in line had considered the idea of squatting to pee ridiculous and gross. Really?  Putting your bare bum on a toilet seat where hundreds of others have isn't?  I think I prefer the squatting thing but then again I have pretty good balance.

PHIL-OSOPHY

I learned three very important things from my friend Phil while in Italy.

1. It's never too early in the morning for gelato.
2. It's never too late at night for gelato.
3. It's always a good time for gelato.

He's right!