TALES FROM THE CRYPT AKA MY NIGHTSTAND DRAWER

I found this little tube in that infamous drawer of mine one hot summer evening.  I was lying on my bed, fan aimed straight at me, watching a little TV.  I grew bored with the show, picked up a crossword puzzle book and dug around in the drawer looking for a pen.  Instead of a pen, I came across the little tube (pictured above) with no visible clues as to what was contained within. There was some raised printing on it but in the dim light I couldn't make out what it said.  I couldn't recall putting it in there but  figured it was one of those little  trial sized cosmetic products they hand out at the drug store.  I opened it up and smelled the contents.  It smelled and looked just like baby oil and since I was fresh out of the shower and had noticed my knees and elbows a little dry, I proceeded to rub the contents into my skin.  I had originally planned to apply the oil just to my knees and elbows but I absently used the entire tube on pretty much my whole body.  I smelled good, my skin smooth and silken.  A little while later I got up,went to the kitchen to get myself a drink, and took the empty little tube with me to throw in the garbage.  Once in the bright light of the kitchen, I was able to read the contents of the tube and discovered to my horror that I had just slathered dog flea and tick medication over my entire body.   I quickly jumped into the shower in an attempt to scrub it all off but I think I was too late, I never got another mosquito bite the rest of that entire summer.