Thursday, February 16, 2012

E IS FOR EMBARRASSING





This happened a long time ago so I can't remember who came up with the idea but when my friend  Margaret was hosting a monthly  card game night for a small group of her friends all of whom had husbands who had undergone a vasectomy in the year previous, the plan was hatched to poke a little fun at them.  My friend's husband had endured the procedure just a few weeks prior to this party and she felt he had recovered enough that he would enjoy a good laugh about it.

I immediately set to work making up membership cards to the Clip It Club with the idea that I would arrive at the door looking for recruitments to join a support group for men.  I was at my creative zenith as I made up flyers (all this in the day before home computers) offering discounts on life size replicas of the needle used, and a video of the actual procedure. "Don't just tell your friends, SHOW THEM" was the tagline. I even made up an acrostic poem.

V is for vasectomy, that is what you had.
A is for the agony, boy did it feel bad.

That's all I can remember of the poem but you can imagine that the rest was pretty funny.

At the appointed time, I packed up all the flyers, hopped into my car and drove to my friends house with a huge grin on my face.  This stuff was funny and I knew it.  If it got into the right hands I would soon be  writing for SNL.  I bounced out of the car and flew up to the front door and delivered a sharp knock.  My friend answered the door and I made my grand entrance announcing loudly that I was looking for some men to join the Clip It Club.  I launched into my spiel reciting my poem and handing out the flyers and membership cards I had painstakingly made.  My enthusiasm began to wane rapidly though when I realized that I was being greeted with stony silence instead of the expected rolling on the floor laughter.   I grabbed a carrot stick from the vegetable tray sitting on the table and mumbled something about having to get home then made a very hasty retreat  back out the door.

 I called my friend the next day to see what had gone so terribly wrong.  She told me that she and one of the other women had thought it was the funniest thing they'd heard but because no one else even cracked a smile they thought it best to follow suit.  I complained to her about how embarrassed I had felt but I got no sympathy.  "You were embarrassed?  she said "I had to sit there the entire night with them."   Point taken.

 I guess men who have recently had "that" operation can be a bit short and snippy.



Wednesday, February 15, 2012

EXCUSE MY ABSENCE

Wonder why I haven't been posting on my blog recently?  Well I have been busy making this
 and this


 and this


 and these (they're taggy blankies)

 and this

 and this

 and this sweet little number.

And there was also a trip to California to celebrate this guy's milestone birthday.
I realize now why he is still not married... he's waiting to find a woman just like me.  Good luck on that one Adam, you're going to have to lower your standards.
He was a very gracious host and I was surprised (I shouldn't have been) at his thoughtfulness (buying special food items for us to enjoy and a pristine apartment for us to stay in, it wasn't when we left). We thoroughly enjoyed every minute of our trip... well minus my minor blow up in the car when someone criticized my driving.  Oh and there was a trip to San Diego one day to go here...

To all my LDS friends, this should be on your bucket list.  It was absolutely beautiful.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A LOVE STORY



It's funny that when we happen upon a life changing moment we often don't recognize it for what it is.  Sure there are plenty of life changing moments that we do recognize, like having a baby (definitely a game changer) or winning the lottery (don't you wish?) but for the most part it is only looking back that we see how truly life changing a certain moment was.
Thirty two years ago today (okay I really don't like saying that because it makes me sound old and I'm not!) I opened the door to a couple of young men. One of them would become my husband.  I remember it as if it were yesterday and so does he (how sweet).  If it had been a movie and there was an accompanying soundtrack I may have clued in to the fact that I would shortly be falling in love but this is real life and so there was no violin music and to be honest it wasn't even love at first sight (well maybe for him because let's face it how hard would it be not to fall in love me immediately).  It wasn't long though before I was crushing on the young man with that cute Kiwi accent which was not a good thing because when I try to impress things usually go wrong. I won't bore you with all the details but I will tell you  I once laughed so hard I farted... LOUDLY... really loudly in front of him (so embarrassing). It wasn't long after that I earned the nickname Frank.
Who knew that the first time I fell in love it would be my last time too?


HAPPY HEART DAY