Showing posts with label toilets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toilets. Show all posts

Friday, August 31, 2012

TOILET HUMOUR

Before dinner last night I drank a huge glass of water and I had another again with my meal.  Needless to say, an hour or so later my bladder was feeling the strain.  I was at a friend's house at this point so I asked to use her toilet.  I went into the bathroom and saw this little contraption (minus the handles) sitting on the toilet.



You can file this under TMI (too much information) but when I pee...
  • I do not trickle.
  • it comes out fast and under high pressure.
  • I cannot stop.
So....I sat on the toilet and all of a sudden I heard splashing on the tile floor.  I looked down to see the stream shooting across the the channel, over the edge and onto the floor and there was nothing I could do to stop the flood.  I tried moving farther back on the seat but that just made matters worse as my new position caused the stream to arc higher to the point that it almost reached the wall in front of me. I shifted again and the stream now escaped over the edges of the channel and onto the rest of the seat. I could only watch helplessly as my own personal Niagara Falls formed a lake on the bathroom floor.  
I asked for a rag, mopped up the floor (it took a while), and left to run some other errands in town  red faced and with slightly damp undies.  I know... TMI



Thursday, October 8, 2009

PONDERING PORCELAIN

Standing outside a public washroom in Sardinia, I overheard a couple of American women complaining about the toilets, one even refusing to use the facilities for reasons she referred to as disgusting.  I was a little leery about going in but I really, really needed to go.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the stall was actually quite clean but laughed when I saw the toilet itself, complete with a spot to place your feet.  The women in line had considered the idea of squatting to pee ridiculous and gross. Really?  Putting your bare bum on a toilet seat where hundreds of others have isn't?  I think I prefer the squatting thing but then again I have pretty good balance.