HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

The other day while visiting Matthew and Kere,  I was able to sneak in a few moments alone with William and Maia to plan a special Mother's Day treat for Kere.  They were so excited to answer a little questionnaire I had found on the internet and I had to stifle a chuckle or two at some of their answers.   I am sure you will too.

WILLIAM

My mom is 10 years old.
She weighs 20 pounds.
Her favourite colour is pink.
Her favourite food is pasta.
My mom always says "No."
She cooks the best scrambled eggs.
My mom's job is working upstairs.
She laughs when someone tells her something funny.
If my mom had time she would love to play games with me.
My mom and I like to clean up that's what we usually do all day.
She really loves chocolate.
I love my mom because she is nice.



MAIA

My mom is 5 years old.
She weighs 2 pounds.
Her favourite colour is purple.
Her favourite food is mushrooms.
My mom always says "clean up".
She cooks the best soup.
My mom's job is cleaning up.
She laughs when I climb in her bed.
If my mom had time she would love to work all the time.
My mom and I like to colour.
She really loves hugs and kisses.
I love my mom because she gives us play dough to play with.



William noticed that there was a list for grandma's so he wanted to answer those questions and of course Maia wanted in on the action too.

WILLIAM

My nona is 26 years old.
She weighs 13 pounds.
Her favourite colour is beige.
Her favourite food is pasta.
My nona always says "yes".
She cooks the best roast potatoes.
My nona's job is taking care of everything.
She laughs when people tell her jokes.
If my nona had time she would love to spend more time with us.
My nona and I like to do crafts.
She really loves hugs.
I love my nona because she does fun things with us.

MAIA

My nona is 26 years old.
She weighs 3 pounds.
Her favourite colour is purple.
Her favourite food is lasagna.
My nona always says "go downstairs to play."
She cooks the best buns and soup.
My nona's job is cooking.
She laughs when William dances funny.
If my nona had time she would love to play colouring.
She really loves hugs and kisses.
I love my nona because she plays fun games with us.






As you can see from their answers, both Kere and I are fulfilling our respective roles in a very stereotypical way.   As a mother, she always says "no" and as  grandmother I always say "yes".  Truer words were never spoken.  Well to be honest I do sometimes say "no" and Kere often says"yes".

I love that my grandkids think I am so young and skinny.  I knew there was a reason I loved them so much.  William's comment about cooking the best roast potatoes is pretty much true, I'll be making them tonight. I know exactly what you're thinking.....she has to cook on Mother's Day?  Well since we are having roast chicken and no one else in the house knows how to do that.... like WIlliam said, I take care of everything!

I am proud of my both my daughter and daughter-in-law.  They are wonderful mom's who take the time to play with their children, teach them right from wrong, and love them unconditionally.  I know that Olivia will be an excellent mom come September when her little one arrives and I have no question at all that Emily will be a loving, patient mom when the time comes.

Happy Mother's Day

THE CRYING GAME

Last week I received a phone call from Brittany.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Crying" I laughed.

"Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, I just this moment finished watching a commercial on youtube."

"Oh....the Olympic one?"

"Yep"

"I cried at that too."

This past weekend when Olivia was here, she, Brittany, and Emily were sitting on the sofa together watching clips from Britain's Got Talent.  I was sitting on the love seat opposite them and suggested that Brittany show them the Olympic commercial.  I started to giggle a bit when I saw tears fill Brittany's eyes and then Olivia's but before I knew it, tears were filling mine too and I wasn't even watching it.  Emily played it cool.  Brittany and Olivia are both pregnant so they have an excuse.  Me?..ummm...it's allergy season?

MOTHER'S DAY MEMORIES PART 2

Note to self: Do no write a blog right before bedtime.

After writing last night's post, I had a dream that I was in Wal-mart talking on my cell phone when I spotted a lady walking around the store smoking a cigarette.  I was shocked!  Other people were just giving her dirty looks but I felt I needed to say something so I told the person I was on the phone with to hold for a second and proceeded to tell the lady off.  She told me to mind my own business.  I threatened that I would call security and she hurried off while I shouted after her to hold on for a second all the while trying to pull the camera up on my cell phone. I even yelled to her "Wait! I need to get a picture for my blog."

Now on to the real subject of this post.

On the Saturday before Mother's Day when Adam was six, I was left home alone with our three oldest boys while Ian and Brittany attended his sister's wedding in Utah (Brittany was under two so could fly for free).  I was about eight months pregnant with our youngest and feeling every bit as tired as you would expect (especially when you consider my husband left me alone... on Mother's Day... with three little boys).  The day was sunny and warm so I suggested to the boys that we have a little picnic lunch in the back yard.  The two younger ones were thrilled at the idea but Adam wanted no part of it.  Democracy rules in our house when the vote swings in my favour so a picnic it was to be.  Adam was not happy and no amount of cajoling could convince him otherwise.  I busily prepared our lunch while he sulked.  I washed and cut up fruit and made a platter of sandwiches with the crusts cut off even.  I asked Adam to take the tray of sandwiches out to the picnic table for me.  I opened the door for him and went to the sink to make up some drink.  I watched from the window as Adam walked half way to the picnic table, stop, then deliberately turn the platter upside down spilling all the sandwiches onto the ground.  I lost it.  You would not have believed a pregnant woman could move so fast.  I was out that door and right behind him almost before the last sandwich hit the ground and I am not proud to say that  I nearly lifted him off his feet when my hand hit his backside all the while berating him for being so naughty.  It was at this point that I heard someone clearing their throat right behind me.  I turned in shock to discover a delivery man holding out a bouquet of flowers. "Happy Mother's Day?"  I still cringe when I think of it now.

MOTHER'S DAY MEMORIES

I have had a few memorable Mother's Days over the years.  There was the year it wasn't even acknowledged (I gave my family the silent treatment for three days until I realized they either didn't notice or were enjoying the silence entirely too much) and then there was the year I had to make dinner because the boys and their father were watching the NBA play offs and totally forgot (yeah right) that they were in charge of the meal making.  There are two particular years however that stand out in my memory and that I deem blog worthy. The first occurred when Matthew was about fourteen.  Steaks had been purchased to celebrate the day and I had resigned myself to the fact  that I would be grilling them because Ian refused to go near the barbecue (he'll barbecue now if I light it first).  To my surprise, Matthew announced that he was going to do the grilling and I was to just sit and relax.  What a sweetheart.  I was feeling a little trepidatious though as Matthew had never really used the barbecue unsupervised before.

"When you light the barbecue you have to be sure..."

"Mom, I know how to light it."

"You need to make sure though..."

"Mom, I know what to do."

"But I just want to make sure that you..."

"Mom trust me, I know what I am doing."

"I know but the igniter isn't..."

"Mom, I know what I'm doing!"


Out the door he went with Nathan following right behind him.

 Two minutes later the door flew open and Nathan ran in, breathless.

"Mom!" he yelled "You should see Matthew."

I jumped from my chair and ran to the door and almost ran into Matthew coming back inside, hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes singed.

When I regained control of my laughter, I cooked the steaks. I laughed for days afterwards until his eyebrows and eyelashes grew back in.  I know you're probably judging me right about now after all what kind of mother laughs at her son almost having his face blown off?  The same kind of mother that... oh wait, that's tomorrow's post.

SO THE SAYING GOES

In honour of Mother's Day this weekend  I took some old adages and changed them to reflect my experiences as a mother to four rambunctious boys and one sweet little girl.  No comments on the do.

• Silence is golden. - Silence is trouble in the making.
• A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. - A spoonful of sugar makes the kids bounce off the walls.
• An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - An ounce of prevention means locking away crayons and scissors.
• A closed mouth gathers no foot. - A closed mouth is hiding tiny choke inducing objects.
• A job worth doing is worth doing well. - A job worth doing is going to be done by the mom.
• A rolling stone gathers no moss. - A rolling stone smashes windows.
• A thing of beauty is a joy forever. - A thing of beauty won't last long.
• Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Early to bed and early to rise just about kills a young mother.
• Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings. - Every time a bell rings it's probably an angry neighbour.
• Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. - Hell hath no fury like a tired two year old.
• Hard work never hurt anybody. - Hard work apparently kills teenagers.
• If it ain't broke don't fix it. - If it ain't broke, it soon will be.
• The more the merrier. - The more the scarier.
• You snooze, you lose. - You snooze, you'll pay for it.

There is no job more exasperating  rewarding in the whole world.  How very lucky I am to have 5 of the most wonderful people on the planet for my children.

TABLE TALK

When I go to these conferences with Ian held at the five star hotels, I invariably get seated next to some high powered professional woman at dinner.   It all goes very nicely at first ( I am pretty good at the small talk)  but then comes the dreaded question "What do you do for a living?"  As soon as I say I was a stay at home mom to five kids there's a visible change in my new table friend.  Eyes widen, there's a slight shake of the head in disbelief and the conversation usually pretty much ends right there.

I'm not going to lie, it makes me mad.  I chose to stay at home to raise my children not because I wasn't capable of doing anything else.  I loved being at home with my kids, I found it more fulfilling, challenging, and rewarding than any career I could ever have aspired to.  I couldn't for a second imagine doing anything else and I hate the assumption that because I stayed at home to raise my children, I am of lesser intelligence.

I have decided that the next time I find myself in this situation I am going to come up with something witty to say that will leave my new table friend at a loss for words.

"And what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a writer"

"Oh really?" (I can imagine their interest being piqued)

"Yes" I will answer casually.

"What do you write?"

"Mostly cheques, some emails and I have a blog."