Blush Magnet

SUNDAY SMILE

2012-01-22T23:04:00.000-05:00

I've debated posting this photo but it's just so funny I cannot resist and after all I am the Blush Magnet right? I may as well live up to the moniker.

If you are easily offended perhaps you shouldn't check this photo out too closely it may just make you blush and it will definitely make you laugh out loud.

THIS GIRL'S GOT TALENT

2012-01-18T22:19:00.003-05:00

I attended another talent show the other night, this time in a different town. I have to say I was a little disappointed. Don't get me wrong, the talents showcased were great but there were no awkward moments or inappropriate songs to make the evening memorable although there was a comedy sketch that I didn't quite get. Maybe I was too young for it because there was an eighty year old man who was laughing his head off. It didn't help that I was preoccupied with a couple of little cuties so I'll withhold judgement on that one.

I hadn't planned on attending the event so wasn't prepared to participate in the talent portion of the evening but then remembered that I had brought my computer with me. Seeing that the projection screen was already up and that someone had an attachment that would hook up my computer to the projector gave me an idea to showcase my talent. Without Ian's knowledge or permission, I played his skydiving video. What's so talented about that? Nothing really but that wasn't my talent. Getting into trouble is my talent and in trouble I was. Was it worth it you ask? Why yes, yes it was!

CHANGES

2012-01-12T22:55:00.000-05:00

Besides being a technotard my husband is also a bit of a chicken. He is afraid of heights and prefers to keep his feet planted firmly on the ground that is why I was shocked when he agreed to go skydiving while we were in New Zealand last month. There was no bribing nor begging nor taunting on my part to coerce him into participating in such a high risk adventure. I thought that perhaps he might chicken out at the last minute but he went through with it. He's a changed man. Hopefully he'll keep changing, maybe into something like this...

or this....

or maybe even this....

yeah, maybe in my dreams.

So do you want to see proof of the jump? Check this out!

Christmas Recap

2012-01-09T20:34:00.000-05:00

The company is gone, the decorations are put away, and life has slowly returned to normal (as normal as it gets anyway), even all the Christmas treats are gone (trust me I've completed a desperate room to room search for any stray shortbread or half eaten bar of chocolate). Depression.
Because we were away for a month just before Christmas, I felt ill prepared for the big event and some of our usual traditions went by the wayside to hopefully be resurrected next year...maybe.

We did manage to fit in most of our usual traditions like....

making snowflake cookies and....

enacting the story of the first Christmas and ...

singing Christmas carols.

This year I didn't get a chance to get together some Christmas pajamas so we weren't able to get our annual Christmas morning pajama photo like last year's.

I tried to tell my family that we really didn't need to have matching pajamas to get a Christmas picture,we could just improvise.

They wouldn't go for it. Maybe next year!

SO THONG 2011

2011-12-31T21:08:00.000-05:00

I took Kere's younger sister Kiri shopping at the mall today which meant going into stores I usually wouldn't venture into. One in particular, caters to young women and I stood patiently while Kiri checked out the underwear table. We had a good laugh about some of the styles and after deciding she didn't want any we walked away. As I turned from the table, the entire display of lace thongs fell to the floor at my feet. I picked them up and quickly threw them back on the table and hurried out of the store. We continued down the halls of the mall wandering in and out of stores for about an hour when I glanced down and realized that my shoelaces were untied. I bent down to tie them up and realized it wasn't a loose lace that I had spied flapping around but a lace thong stuck onto the velcro closure of my coat.

A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

SWEET WILLIAM

2011-12-08T22:45:00.001-05:00

One of the first things I did after my totally amazing trip away, was to go see some of my little grandchildren. They entertain me to no end and tonight was no exception.

William singing 'Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer' came to the point in the song where all of the other reindeer won't let poor rudolph join in any reindeer games "like mynipply" he added to the lyrics.

Later in the evening a guest was asking William if he he knew what we would be celebrating soon. William filled him in on what Christmas was about including everything he knew about Jesus.
"Wow" replied the guest "you know as much about Jesus as I do."
William looked at him puzzled then held up four fingers and said in a matter of fact tone "I'm four."

I love that boy.

CASE FILES OF A TRUE (WANNA BE) DETECTIVE

2011-11-09T13:29:00.000-05:00

I've always thought that I would make a good detective. I'm quick to notice things out of the ordinary, or to pick up on body language. Perhaps being the mother to five teenagers (13-19 at one point) helped hone those skills.

Like the time for instance when we had rented a cabin for a week at a fishing lodge owned by some friends of ours. There were quite a few young people there that week and our kids knew most of them so they had a great time hanging out swimming, riding tubes down the rapids, and playing volleyball. One afternoon all the boys decided to take a boat out and go fishing. The girls lay out at the end of the dock to sunbathe and swim and the moms sat on the lawn chatting. About an hour later the boys pulled up in the boat, got out, and headed for the cabin of the one boy who was there without his parents. That was when the first red flag went up.

"Something's up." I said to the group of moms.

"What do you mean?' one of the mothers asked.

"Just that something is not right" I replied. "Since when have you known a bunch of teenage boys to walk right past a group of girls sunbathing in swimsuits and not even say a word to them. Something is definitely up!"

I got up and made my way to the cabin and was met at the door by my oldest son. That was when the second red flag went up. They had obviously assigned him to be the lookout and he wasn't letting me past the door.

"What's going on?"

"umm... nothing."

"I'm not stupid. What's up?"

I looked past him and spotted a young man coming out of the bathroom with his hand dripping in blood.
Long story short, he had shot himself in the hand with a pellet gun while checking to see if it had any pressure left in it. In his defense, he had tried shooting it into the water first (smart), then into the aluminum boat (not so smart) and finally into his hand (just plain stupid but better than his face I guess). He had then gone into the bathroom and tried to extract the pellet from his hand with a razor blade (not the brightest idea). He ended up having to have surgery.

While I was in Portugal going on a tour of Lisbon with the wedding party (250 of us) something caught my attention on the narrow little street we walking down to get back to our tour buses. It was the movement of two women pushing their way into our group. I just thought it was strange that they wouldn't have tried to go around the group instead of heading right into the middle of us. I knew that they weren't part of our group because they were holding street maps and none of us had any. We had been warned on the bus before we got out to be aware of pickpockets. We were told that they often had cameras and street maps and would stop and ask you for directions and take advantage of your helpful nature. As I watched these two women I realized that they had targeted a young mother with her purse slung over her shoulder and carrying her fussy baby. I quickly pushed past everyone and managed to put myself between the mom and the pickpockets and warned her of them. I turned around and gave the two women a dirty look and shook my head. They quickly turned around and made their way out of our group. I then followed them back up the street a ways before returning to our group. The wedding photographer wanted to get a photo of them so I showed her where I last saw them and there they were coming back down the street with another group. They spotted me and stopped dead in their tracks.
Yeah, I'm pretty much a super hero!

The street where I thwarted the pickpockets.

STRANGER DANGER

2011-11-06T19:03:00.000-05:00

Years ago (and I mean many years ago), my friend Jill and I went to see a scary movie. At the time I was living with Jill, her dad, and her grandmother. Another friend of ours was visiting from out of town but instead of going to the movies with us, she opted to go to a Saturday night church service. I wish I had gone with her instead.

The movie When A Stranger Calls, scared the bejeepers out of us both and neither one of us would sleep in her grandmother's room because it had a closet in it. We begged our friend to sleep in there instead (contrary to the original sleeping plan) until she finally rolled her eyes and acquiesced to our demand. You see, in the movie a young girl is terrorized by a psychopath while she babysits. Some guy keeps calling and asking if she has checked the children yet. It turns out that the creep is making the calls from inside the house and although the babysitter is saved, the two children she was looking after did not fair so well. Fast forward a number of years and the babysitter is having dinner out with her husband when she receives a phone call at the restaurant from the psychopath asking her if she's checked the children yet. She rushes home to find her kids safe but just before she turns out the lights for the night, she decides to check on her kids one last time. They're fine and she climbs back into bed. She rolls over to find herself face to face with the psychopath. Scary.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, over thirty years after watching that stupid movie once, I still find myself thinking about it almost every time I climb into bed when Ian's gone to bed before me. In fact, I check that it is Ian in the bed before I climb into it.

The other night I retired for the night a good hour after Ian and slipped quietly into bed. I lay there for a few seconds then realized that I hadn't checked to see that the man in the bed was actually my husband. I slowly turned over and my heart skipped a beat. The man in the bed was considerably shorter than Ian and he wasn't making Ian's usual deep sleep breathing noises. A scream almost escaped my lips but then I heard his deep even breathing and with my eyes finally adjusting to the darkness I could see that the outline of the body in my bed was indeed Ian, he was just sleeping lower in the bed than usual.

This is why I flat out refuse to watch scary movies. My vivid imagination needs absolutely no help.

FEATURING.... THE MOUNTAIN MAN

2011-11-03T19:54:00.001-04:00

I've been home from Portugal for almost two weeks now and while there has been so much I could blog about after that amazing wedding I attended, I have neglected my blog because I have been entertaining some of my beautiful little grandchildren, or should I say, they've been entertaining me.

I will eventually write about my wonderful adventures in Portugal but tonight I want to direct you to a blog written by a dear friend of mine. During the school year, he visits schools in the western United States giving presentations on mountain men. He dresses up in full costume and brings in animal pelts for the kids to feel, teaches how to make wild animal calls, and regales them with tales of old trappers. I have never seen his presentation but knowing Scott, I bet he has the rapt attention of every student within earshot. From time to time he post letters on his blog from kids who have been present for his performances, along with a reply. This is definite laugh out loud stuff!

Check out his latest post here.

This one is pretty cute too.

And this one.

Heck, just go and click on the word blog on the sidebar of his website and you can read them all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL

2011-10-25T20:56:00.000-04:00

This picture was drawn by Daniel when he was about six years old. I saved it and framed it not because I thought he would one day become a great artist (that is clearly not his talent), it was the text that struck me, "I never feel little. I always feel big." (spelling corrected)

I have never known a child to be so self assured at such a young age. He exuded confidence from the time he was very little. I remember going to a school fair shortly after he had first started school and as we walked around the school participating in activities, kids from kindergarten to grade eight would call out to him to say hello. I was astounded. How did he know that many kids already?

Since he has been in New Zealand I have missed...

his pacing the floor while intense sporting events played out on the TV. Watching sports is just not the same without him.
his yelling at the refs or players in said sporting events. Seriously, he would wake me out of a sound sleep sometimes.
his brutal honesty. If I asked his opinion on something he would give it to me straight up even if it might hurt my feelings.
his ever present smile.
his goodnatured joking.
his high pitched, girly, laugh (he adopted that in Fiji and it hasn't left).
his generosity. If I didn't have an opinion on something he was always willing to give me his.

Happy Birthday Daniel! I love you.

MIRROR, MIRROR IN THE HALL

2011-10-21T07:55:00.001-04:00

I am taking a few minutes out of a very busy schedule to write a quick post from the lobby of Penha Longa in Portugal. (hey somebody's got to live this kind of life so why not me?) I am having an amazing time learning more about Indian culture. and participating in an Indian wedding.

Traveling with Ian almost always provides some entertainment, like here and here. This trip has been no exception.

Before we arrived at Penha Longa, we stayed at a beautiful hotel on the ocean. For those of you who don't know, fancy shmancy hotels offer twice a day maid service. In the evening they come in and turn down the bed, fill the ice bucket, and leave a chocolate on your pillow. One night while Ian was showering I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door wide and there stood the maid asking if we needed more towels or anything. I told her we were fine so she reached for the chocolates to hand to me and I saw her do a double take and then smile. I took the chocolates from her and turned back toward our room and it was then that I realized the reason for her smirk. Ian had left a door open to the bathroom (they were french doors, with full length mirrors both sides). I knew that the door was open but didn't think anyone could see into the bathroom from the door. It would appear I was wrong.

I'm still laughing.

THANKSGIVING 2011

2011-10-11T20:21:00.001-04:00

This past weekend we celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving as well as Ava's first birthday. Here are some of the highlights.

I made Avocado Shakes for the second time in two days. So very, very, yummy!

I made this little cake for Ava (easy to do but a little time consuming).

Here she is enjoying it.

The weather was absolutely gorgeous, so summer like and yet we were into the second week of October. Lilah is in just her diaper here. Maybe there is actually something to this global warming thing.

We had a little glitch over the weekend when we discovered that the sink was clogged just as we were about to do all the dishes from our big Thanksgiving dinner. Ben figured he could clear it with the plunger so before he did, I tied a tea towel around a pipe that has been known to leak slightly while being plunged.

While Ben plunged the one side of the double sink, I held the plug down in the other. We both felt our feet getting wet at the same time and looked down to see water running out onto the floor. There was a panicked call for towels....

and a quick race downstairs to see if it was seeping through the floor onto the ceiling below...

...It was.

Long story short

the whole drain is broken.
we had to dishes in the laundry tub.
we are still waiting for a plumber.
I own about fifty towels.
most were used to clean up the mess.
I now know how fat my butt is (I need to lay off the Avocado Shakes).

After all the excitement, we went outside , sat around the fire, watched the moon come up and enjoyed some of these.

All in all, it was a nearly perfect weekend. We just missed Daniel, Olivia, and Adam.

IT'S MADE WITH WHAT?

2011-10-08T00:10:00.000-04:00

When I was about ten years old, I was offered cheesecake for the very first time.

"Cheesecake?... does it have cheese in it?"

"Yes, cream cheese."

"Yuck, no thank you."

I couldn't imagine that a cake made with cheese would taste good so I didn't actually try cheesecake until I was in my early twenties. Yeah, I was stupid like that. What was I thinking? I pretty much missed ten years of not eating cheesecake, the very same ten years that I barely knew what a calorie was and I certainly didn't need to count them. You would think that I would have learned my lesson (you would think) but when a friend posted a recipe for Avocado Smoothies on her blog, I pretty much skipped reading it. I'm not a big fan of avocados (I've only just started eating them in my own homemade guacamole) and the thought of a smoothie made with them... well let's just say it evoked my ~~gag reflex~~ same first reaction to cheesecake.

Yesterday I looked at the ripe avocados sitting on the counter and wondered what I was going to do with them. It was then that I remembered my revulsion to the thought of a drink made with the fruit (yes it's a fruit), so I looked up the recipe and decided to give it a try.

Was it good? No it wasn't, it was wicked awesome! So you have two choices, you can gather up the ingredients and make the most divine, delectable, mouthwatering, smoothie ever or you can turn up your nose and say no thanks.

Disclaimer: All healthy ingredients appearing in this recipe are fictitious. Any resemblance to real healthiness is purely coincidental.

SO STEREOTYPICAL

2011-09-27T11:41:00.001-04:00

The other day we decided to go on an afternoon drive to Algonquin Park to admire the autumn colours. We were not the only ones to think this would be a perfect way to spend an early fall afternoon and as we arrived at the park's visitor centre we were surprised at the amount of cars and tour buses in the parking lot. We enjoyed a pleasant couple of hours touring the facility and then returned to the car for the one hour drive back to Matthew's. As we were putting kids in car seats (a time consuming activity), we noticed a white Toyota backing out of a spot close to the entrance just as someone else was pulling in. The person pulling in stopped and waited for the Toyota to finish pulling out but the driver of the Toyota stopped, blocking all traffic, and sat there and waited, we're not sure what for. We all stopped what we were doing to watch. The Toyota just sat there for the longest time and then finally moved. As I got into our car I overheard derogatory comments about Asian drivers. I don't care much for stereotyping people because of their gender or race, I gave that up in about grade six or seven when I discovered that boys didn't actually have cooties nor were they especially stupid (well the jury's still out on that one). On the ride home though, I bean to think there was some credence to the idea that Asian drivers...hmmm... how do I put this nicely?....sucked! We got stuck following behind the Toyota for a fair while driving on roads that were windy and narrow with very few opportunities to pass. The posted speed was 90km but we often were slowed down to 40km and on the crest of hills we were practically stopped. Perhaps the driver was nervous because of these signs.

There were plenty of them around (the signs that is, not the moose).

As we were finally able to pass, I glanced over at the female, asian,driver who sat hunched over the steering wheel intent on the road ahead, white knuckles clenched, and clearly nervous.

The whole situation reminded me of one of my favourite episodes of the Office.

While driving behind the Toyota I noticed the license plate and snapped a picture.

BMAD? We were after driving a good fifteen minutes behind her, we were also afraid.

SUNDAY SMILE

2011-09-25T22:07:00.000-04:00

Remember these? Well, I've found some more. Oh how times have changed.

I did receive a vacuum cleaner once for Christmas many, many, years ago. Yes, Ian is still alive. I was young and stupid back then.

Why was I not aware of this? What a horrible mother I was insisting that my kids drink water or fruit juice.

The best fifteen cents a mother ever spent.

Am I the only one that detects some sexual overtones here?

Men are better than women? Yeah, if you're gay! There's some serious man-on-man eye contact going on there. I think this is the precursor to Brokeback Mountain. "Nice knickerbockers friend"

"Why, thank you." This ad was definitely written by a gay man.

Tracy Harper's mom was more concerned about her daughter looking "fashionable" than she was about her daughter being labeled chubby. Tracy was born a few decades too early, by today's standards she's practically anorexic.

And we're concerned about our kids playing with toys manufactured in China.

Cultivate alcoholism more like it.

Because I want nothing but the best for my boys.

And here all these years I've been keeping cellophane away from my babies.

Can anyone say sexist? Finest projection? Just what is it they're selling? Do you think those twins are adopted?

So not true! Trust me on this one.

Dear Adman; Sooner or later your wife will drive home the fact she hates this ad by running over you.

Blow in my face buddy and see the places you'll go!

FOLLOW, FOLLOW ME

2011-09-16T09:16:00.002-04:00

I have a number of friends who have told me that they like to keep up on reading my blog but they miss some posts because they are never quite sure when I publish a new one. I suggest that they "follow" me and then they won't miss any.

Follow?????

I go on to explain how to "follow"my blog but I can tell that after the first sentence, I have lost them.

Apparently most of my friends are like these people.

Admit it.

IF THE CARD FITS...

2011-09-02T20:58:00.000-04:00

I came across "Bluntcard" today which is basically a site where you can send ecards to your friends and family. They are all 50's style and some are outrageously funny. Unfortunately a lot of the cards contain totally inappropriate language so I don't suggest that you go to the site unless that kind of language doesn't bother you at all. As I perused the cards I found some that I could instantly think of the perfect recipients to send them to.

This one for instance made me think of Daniel. He's really not that conceited but he likes to dress nicely and he often gets compliments on his attire.

Matthew and Nathan once set off fireworks at an outdoor party we had for Daniel and Olivia. They went awry. You can read that post here.

This could actually apply to a few of my friends so I won't call anyone in particular out.

I know a guy who takes every opportunity he can to humiliate his wife on Facebook. Recently, she has succeeded in retaliating. Mandy, I think you should send this one to Matt.

Sorry Lisa and Cora, I am totally calling you out on this one. Don't feel bad, I am confessing to being just as guilty to this sort of behavior. There are a few more of you out there. You know who you are.

And finally.....

How great IS it to have a friend as wonderful as me? Lisa? Cora?

SAY CHEESE!

2011-08-29T23:08:00.000-04:00

Remember this little girl?

So sweet....

So cute....

So photogenic.

Well, she's discovered that when the camera comes out (real or pretend) she's supposed to smile.

Forced smile #1

Forced smile # 2

This is going to make taking good family shots next to impossible.

We think she's been taking lessons from her older sister.

CHEATING

2011-08-26T16:49:00.001-04:00

If you didn't know already, Matthew, his wife, and all four of their children, have been staying with us for the past month while they wait to move into their new home. Added to that, we have had quite a few extra visitors as well so needless to say, I have been busy. This will explain why I haven't been posting much. For some of you this is a more than adequate excuse but some ~~nags~~ readers think their needs come first. You know who you are! Anyway....today a friend posted a link on my Facebook page that made me laugh out loud and I just had to share it with you. I especially liked the movie case (read the description of the movie above the title). So basically I am cheating but some bloggers might consider this "featuring". Thank you Ninon, and the rest of you enjoy!

Here's the link.

DOLLAR STORE FINDS

2011-08-17T15:07:00.001-04:00

Kere's favourite place to shop is the Dollar Store. She can spend ages in there and it's not unusual for me to leave her in there while I finish the rest of my shopping only to come back and find her just a few aisles over from where I left her. My favourite part of shopping at the Dollar Store is discovering things like this...

and toys like this....

We're not quite sure what this is supposed to be but it came in a pack of sea creature bath toys. I'd be interested to know if any of you have seen something like this in your travels. I've seen something similar to this but closer to home. It's called an eel people, get your minds out of the gutter!

This is the flip side.

And here's proof that the Dollar Store thinks its customers are of a less than stellar intelligence stock...

In case you can't read the little sticker on the upper right hand corner of the bags, it reads "Birthday ", you know, just in case you weren't able to decipher that fact on your own. I guess they don't want you to put a wedding gift in it by mistake. How embarrassing would that be?

SUNDAY SMILE

2011-08-14T20:12:00.001-04:00

I now know why Dollarama can sell their toys for so cheap...

they're breeding them.

I AM A PEOPLE PERSON

2011-08-13T13:58:00.002-04:00

Enough said!

HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED

2011-08-12T15:29:00.001-04:00

When we arrived at the Buffalo airport after our trip to California I spotted a limo driver standing at the arrivals gate holding a sign for his customer. Usually they will hold the sign at chest level where it is easy to spot but I guess this guy's arms were tired because he just held the sign with his arms hanging down which was unfortunate because the sign he held said "Johnson" and it looked more like he was naming a body part than looking for his fare. All my party were ahead of me so I couldn't point him out and I was sorely tempted to stop and take a picture but it was kind of an awkward spot to just stop and hold up the foot traffic behind me so I opted to keep walking ( I am so disappointed in myself, it was such an awesome sight). I came home and laughingly told Kere about it and she just gave me a blank stare wondering what the heck I was finding so funny.
"The sign said 'Johnson'...get it?"

"No, what's a Johnson?"

"Ummm... an outboard motor." I replied not wanting to destroy her innocence.

A commercial from the 1980's when the word "Johnson" was used in a very different manner and yes, I know I am immature.

MY DAY IN COURT

2011-08-12T10:25:00.001-04:00

Way back in February, I returned to my car after having had lunch in town, to discover a parking ticket on my window. I was not happy. I had put money in the meter but it wasn't working properly so I couldn't tell exactly how much time I had on it. The ticket fee? $5.00 I know it's not much but in principle I felt it was unfair to be ticketed when the meter clearly was not working. I took a picture of the meter with my phone because I knew right then and there I was going to fight it.

Last week I finally got my day in court and so, it seemed, did a hundred other people. I was not thrilled to see that my name was last on the docket. I sat through over an hour of various traffic violation pleas and sentences. It was kind of like watching Court TV, interesting for the first two minutes but then you just want to change the channel. At a recess, the crown attorney asked if there were any in the courtroom that she had not spoken to yet in regards to parking infractions. To make a long story short, I was directed to another room where I met with a by-law officer to show my picture as evidence. I was surprised when he asked me to provide the date stamp on the photo.... did he think I took the time to wander all over town searching for a faulty meter just so I could beat a five dollar ticket? Fortunately, I knew exactly how to do find the date stamp on the photo (I had my computer with me) and I really wished Ian was there to see me do it. He would have been suitably impressed, the guy I showed wasn't. I think he was a bit put out that I could prove I was wrongly accused. I was directed to return to the courtroom and a short while later was informed that the charges were withdrawn and I was free to leave. I was a little disappointed. Why? Well there was an older lady sitting in front of me waiting for her turn and it wasn't until the recess that I realized that she was blind, like white cane kind of blind. I was intrigued. What kind of driving/parking violation was she guilty of? During the recess she used her cane to walk to the crown attorney and hand her a large envelope. While she was away, a man came and sat in the seat she had occupied. When she returned to her seat she almost sat on him, she was that blind. I certainly couldn't even imagine her driving, okay maybe I could because my imagination is a bit over the top, but still...a blind lady driving?

I PITY THE FOOL

2011-08-03T21:07:00.000-04:00

I am not American therefore I did not take part in the voting of the current President of the United States so can sit here smugly and chuckle over this.

Apparently this is not the only billboard these people have erected.

To be fair, I should include a couple of billboards taking shots at the former President.

Quite frankly, the US seems to be in such a mess these days that I pity the next president. Whoever it is, will have a daunting task in front of them. America's like a tinderbox and with one false move, poof! up it goes in flames.

It had better not spread northward.

SUNDAY SMILE

2011-07-31T20:21:00.005-04:00

You can "crack" all the jokes you want "butt" believe it or not, I was able to snap this shot on my iPhone without falling over laughing. How could he not tell that he was this overexposed?

AT LONG LAST

2011-07-30T23:03:00.000-04:00

Introducing......

Athen Tane

He was born July 15 while I was away in California at a wedding. I was a little disappointed that he didn't wait until his due date (tomorrow) because I was invited to be there for the delivery. I told him that he was starting off on the wrong foot but then he snuggled up to me and smiled (it wasn't gas, I don't care what you say) so we're all good now. It was probably a good thing that he arrived a little early because he weighed a healthy 7 pounds, 13 ounces. He would have weighed well over 8 pounds had he baked two more weeks.

Mattew and Kere call him their little Maori baby. I am not sure if it's because of his dark skin and flat nose or because he makes faces like this.

Do you see a resemblance?

Athen loves his woombie and sleeps so well when he's wearing it. I highly recommend it to any new mother. Seriously, it's the absolute best. I think this will be the gift I'll be giving at baby showers for years to come.

A baby (not Athen) snuggled up in a Woombie.

Yesterday Athen had a bath in the Spa Baby another highly recommended baby product. He loved, loved, loved, it. Did I mention he loved it? I have never seen a baby so relaxed in the bath before and trust me, I have bathed a lot of babies in my lifetime. He just lay there and didn't move or make a sound.

He's a sweet little baby and is a welcome addition to our family.

I'M BAAAACK!!!!

2011-07-24T00:19:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't know, I was away on vacation for the past two weeks. I didn't advertise the fact that I was going to be away beforehand because quite frankly, I am smarter than that and I didn't want anyone breaking into our lovely home and stealing any of our lovely things. There was a break in though while we were gone and while they didn't steal anything, someone slept on my side of the bed and left clean dishes on the counter by the sink to dry. Matthew assures me it wasn't him so I am left wondering as to who would do such a thing? Any ideas?

Ian and I had a great time away in Las Vegas and Los Angeles with our youngest son Nathan and his wife Emily. It was extremely hot and made the 49 degree celsius (with the humidity factored in) we came home to, seem quite pleasant. I won't bore you with all our goings on but I think I will dedicate my next few posts to some of the things we experienced on our vacation.

Before heading to Las Vegas we spent a day in the state of New York at a roller coaster park called Darien Lake. When we first pulled up and saw all the cars we almost turned around and left, thinking that we would be hours waiting in line to get on a ride but once inside the park we were pleasantly surprised and hardly waited at all. When it got too hot we ducked inside one of the retail stores to cool off in the air-conditioning. Here are a few of the items available for purchase (thank you Emily for taking the pictures). Remember this is a theme park... with roller coasters... and a water park. It was just so unexpected.

If you weren't interested in a t-shirt, you could always get a Christian Barbie Doll. I didn't take a good look at the body proportions because I was too busy judging the immodest dress of the one on the right. That's right, I said judge but it's okay because it's a doll. Sparkly tights do not make up for a super short skirt. If I saw a girl walking down the street wearing that outfit, Christian would be the last thing that crossed my mind.

3 in 3

2011-07-15T00:26:00.000-04:00

Ian strikes again.

He struggled for a full 30 seconds trying to put his credit card into a parking meter so that the arm would go up and we could get into the parking garage. All he had to do was press the button and take a ticket.
When offered a treat, he declined saying that he had just finished brushing all of his teeth. Really? All of them? wow!
This morning at breakfast he complained that his contacts were bothering him and that he couldn't see properly. He pulled one out and then told us he thought maybe he had just put one in and perhaps that was the problem. We broke into fits off laughter. He actually did have both in and was able to get the last one out.

We've only been on vacation three days.

KIJIDIOTS

2011-07-07T01:05:00.001-04:00

Have you heard of Kijiji before? Basically it's online classified ads only with pictures and bad spelling and grammar.
How bad can the spelling and grammar be? Well let's look at some recent examples of ads I pulled off the site.

1.
i am in need badly of a bed for my 20 month old he broke his bed and know dose not have one so if some one can help me in a bed i would greatly apercated and thank you for your time my number is ...

Where do I even start? Not one period was used nor any other kind of punctuation mark for that matter. I checked, they do not charge extra for using punctuation, in fact the site is free to use. "know dose"? No I don't, I'm not a pharmacist. The next time Ian "helps" me in bed I am going to tell him I greatly "apercated" it and thank him for his time. I will laugh uproariously, he won't get it, I'll tell him, he still won't get why I find it so funny, this will make laugh even harder.

Solide oak rocking chair barley used and in great condition.

It really chaffs my butt when barley sits in my solide oak rocking chair.

hey i have a fit pro up for grabs i'll sellin for $400 o.b.o the bars on it wont be sold with the bike because their not mine it will have a pair of grey one so e mail me with an offer

What???? I'm still not sure what this guy was "sellin" but apparently it comes with a pair of grey one.

have a pariba tourmaline apprased at 2200 selling for 1100 half price it's 2.9 carets also have a 54 caret citrine apprased at 2500 for 1250 also a non apprised 2220 ct emrald and a extreamly rare 2300 ct pigeon blood ruby make offers both are opaqe but keep in mind at that of lowest qualitys are price from 2 to 25 a caret but drop your offers

Again not one period was used in the above ad. Three chances to spell appraised correctly, two different spellings, one huge fail. Does no one have spell check nowadays? It would not have picked up "carets"a mark (^, ‸) placed below the line to indicate a proposed insertion in aprinted or written text, but it would have picked up "opaqe" and "qualitys" and "emrald" and "extreamly" and "apprased" and.... "Drop your offers"? Is she taking the lowest price submitted?

Bridemaid Dress color burgandy,size 16,made for tall women. I only wear it once ,need a dryclean , still in very good shape !! Also can be weared strapless.

Did she mean bridesmaid or bride made? I usually only wear my dresses once before washing too but none of mine can be "weared" strapless.

Kijidiot

noun informal

a person who places an ad on Kijiji without checking spelling or grammar.

Yes, I just made that word up.

IF ONLY

2011-07-03T21:06:00.000-04:00

If only I could write about the goings on at church. By that I mean I may write about our beliefs etc. but that is not nearly as entertaining as the characters that attend our local *ward (congregation) which is the thing that I cannot write about. First off, my husband does from time to time read my blog so I would be in huge trouble with him, and second of all, a number of the congregants read my blog too so I might find myself in trouble with them too (not that any of them would be the actual subject matter except for maybe Darlene, she really does need to start her own blog). Even if I changed the names to protect the ~~crazies~~ innocent, their characters are such that they would be easily identifiable. Lastly, it just wouldn't be very Christian of me and I am trying to do better in that department (with varying degrees of success).
It's a shame really because every Sunday would supply me with enough blog fodder to last the entire week. I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that sharing about what happens at church any given Sunday is off limits. *sigh*

Can you tell that today was an especially interesting day?...that I am just dying to share it with you? Well I'm sorry but I can't. I can tell you that Lilah sitting on my lap this morning put a small empty box into my mouth and not thinking, I blew on it making it whistle really loud at a very quiet moment. That's a little bit funny and it was a little bit embarrassing but certainly not the most entertaining part of the day.
Oh if only I could say... but as I mentioned before I really am trying to be better... really, really trying... okay I think I need to try a little harder because I know if someone were to call and ask what happened, the story would roll off my tongue without a second thought... this is not an invitation to call, the kids all just left after being here for almost a week so I am looking forward to a quiet night, however, if you were to call to tomorrow...oh?... what's that?...you wouldn't be party to such a thing?...Phew! I'm glad... really! I don't need the temptation.

*For the record, I love my ward and the people in it.

ODE TO A TALENTED FRIEND

2011-07-02T22:17:00.000-04:00

Of all my friends I have a few,

Who are an especially talented crew,

One who is so good at cooking,

I lick the plate when no one's looking,

Another girl I know can write,

I read her blog most every night,

And yet another friend can bake,

And also decorate a cake,

In such a beautiful array,

She asks for money, people pay!

Another friend of mine can sew,

She taught me everything I know,

And all these talents, I may say,

I can do just not as they,

I make good effort but confess,

I cannot do with their finesse,

But there's a talent I can't manage,

It'd leave my laptop with some damage,

Computer jargon, web design?

Those talents honey aren't mine,

Who redesigned my humble blog?

Twas Angela, the glory hog,

She sings, she writes, she bakes, she cooks,

Reviews movies, critiques books,

And if that wasn't near enough,

She does a lot of other stuff,

Like raise two girls with such great care,

and is a wife extraordinaire,

So thank you Ange, you know you rule,

For making me feel extra cool!

YOU CAN TAKE A GIRL OUT OF THE COUNTRY...

2011-06-29T13:17:00.002-04:00

On Monday night Ian and I attended the Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert held in Toronto. We were asked some time before if we would be willing to be host to a couple of dignitaries attending. This entailed entertaining them at the reception held before the concert, making sure they received a complimentary cd, helping them to their seats, and just making sure they enjoyed the evening. Ian and I were to be hosts to Vivienne Poy and Jean Augustine along with their guests. Both women were absolutely delightful to spend time with and we thoroughly enjoyed the few hours we accompanied them. The concert was amazing and after one particularly rousing number I rose to my feet, cupped my hands to my mouth and shouted "woo hoo!". I was not the only one in the audience to do so but I was the only one in our company. Oops. Not thinking, I did it at the end of the concert as well, proof that you can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl. I wonder if we will be asked to host again.

AKA (almost known as) SHAGGY DOG

2011-06-26T23:39:00.000-04:00

Proof that Nathan was a dream child. He let me dress him in this without complaint.

We thought we'd let our 4 kids have a hand in naming the latest addition to our family. They decided if the baby was a boy he should be called Shaggy Dog. We nixed that idea but the boys got their revenge and called him Nate Dog as a teenager.

He was a dream child from day one.

one hour total labour. That's right, one hour only. Every mom should be that lucky.
slept through the night at six weeks. Pure heaven when you have four other kids to deal with all day.
rarely cried. Not even when his brothers inflicted pain that would have made even their eyes water.
was always singing or whistling. I was a bit worried when all he would sing was Backstreet Boys songs but he outgrew it. Phew!
kind hearted. He once offered his sister his ice cream cone when hers fell on the ground without any hesitation.
happy disposition. Not much gets that boy down.
made friends easily. When he enrolled in a new school he told me he wouldn't talk to anyone for three days, he had a new best friend by lunch time.

That little dream child could also be a bit of a nightmare just so you don't think he was totally perfect.

ate poop out of the toilet thanks to an older brother who didn't bother to flush or put the lid down.
stole cheese from the fridge all the time. I was forever finding little bite marks on the cheese block.
flushed toys and toothbrushes down the toilet. I can now remove a toilet seat and reassemble it in no time now, a skill that has proven handy.
had a party at the house once when we were out. The only one of our kids to ever do this and get caught. Don't think I am fooled you guys, I know there were other parties... Brittany....

I can't believe my baby is twenty three today. Where did the time go? That sweet, sweet boy is now a man I'm still wrapping my head around that one all married and grown up. It won't be too long until he's a parent himself this is not an announcement although I wish it was. When the time does come, he will be a great dad. His nieces and nephews adore him and it's no wonder to me.

Happy Birthday Nathan!

Don't worry Emily, those teeth have been brushed thousands of times since the "poop" incident.

TEENAGE DREAM

2011-06-22T23:51:00.000-04:00

Just because I am a grandmother doesn't mean I have to act like one so when a couple of friends suggested a get together I jumped at the chance. I'd forgotten how much fun it is to have a couple of friends come stay overnight. We talked about boys (our husbands), how to do our hair (one said she would prefer a brush cut, seriously?) while we painted our toenails. We took silly pictures withWoody, proof that my persuasion skills are as good as Matthew's but I had to promise that there would be no posting of said pictures on either facebook or my blog. Darn! We played games and I made an amazing come from behind run to win the Last Word...it's my blog so I can totally brag it up if I want... and anyway a game where you have to try and get the last word in? you know I am going to rock that one unless perhaps I am playing with Daniel.

So it was fun to be a teenager again even if it was just for a night. Oh, I almost forgot *wink* dancing in the basement. It wouldn't be a sleepover without dancing and dance we did. Someone...it may or may not have been me... hooked up a hidden camera to capture an unsuspecting hoofer. No promises were made regarding the release of such a movie so enjoy. Heads have been cut off to protect the identity of the victim.
The Movie

DAD LIFE

2011-06-20T07:26:00.000-04:00

One last post on Father's Day.

Enjoy!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

2011-06-19T15:15:00.000-04:00

I gave a talk at church today on the subject of fathers. I asked William and Maia a few questions about their dad and grandpa to use in my talk. Their answers were pretty entertaining.

What is a dad's most important job?
Maia (2): Giving huggles.
William (4): Sleeping.

What is the best thing daddy does?
William: Plays games with us.
Maia: Colours with us.

Describe your daddy.
William: He likes treats.
Maia: He likes chocolates.
Maia: He's nice.
William: He reads scriptures to us and asks silly questions and mummy says not to say them any more.

What does daddy do for work?
William: Make money.
Maia; He writes questions. (perhaps the silly ones he asks at scripture time)

What is a grandpa's most important job?
Maia: Golfing with daddy.
William: He looks after us.

What does Grandpa do best?
Both: Sing songs. (Singing is not a talent Ian possesses so this one made me laugh out loud.)

Describe Grandpa.
William: He plays with us, he's nice,he gives us treats.
Maia: He gives us apple juice ( a treat as we usually just drink water), he comes to our house and gives us cards.

Happy Father's Day Matthew, Ian, and all you other great dads out there.

ROY

2011-06-18T22:09:00.000-04:00

My father-in-law once told me that at his age nothing really embarrassed him anymore. I took this as a
challenge and have spent the last number of years taking almost every opportunity I can to do just that. I can make him disappear faster than ice cream at a kids birthday party and it's pretty funny to watch. I once pretended to be intellectually handicapped while standing in a checkout line of the Warehouse ( a chain store in New Zealand). He was standing behind me in line and when I turned to see his reaction he was gone not just away from the line but right out the door of the store. I don't think I could have even moved that fast.
"I know people in there." he complained to me later. I laughed.
There was the time we had dinner at a fancy chinese restaurant and I did a very brutal imitation of a chinese accent as we were paying at the front, again he disappeared but maybe that was because he didn't want to pay. He's put up with me putting grapes in his bed, locking him out of his hotel room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, and warning him that the fly of his pants is down when it's not (he just can't help himself, he has to check) and yet he still makes me feel like I am his favourite daughter-in-law, and even though I give him no respect (he's frequently the butt of all my jokes) I love him more than words can say.
Happy Father's Day Dad! Thanks for being such a great sport.

FRIENDS?

2011-06-16T23:48:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am back on the facebook thing again only this time it is about people who send a friend request when you don't even know them. Who does that? When I get a friend request like that my oddball radar goes off loud and clear and I hear echoes from the robot of Lost In Space "Danger Will Robinson DANGER!" only saying "Danger Fionna....well you get what I 'm talking about unless you're too young to remember that show and have never seen the reruns. Oh wait a minute, surely you saw the Lost in Space movie because as we all know that movie was a major blockbuster. No? Anyhoo, I got a friend request from someone just recently who I didn't recognize so I checked friends we had in common and emailed one to ask about this person just out of curiosity. In the email I accused the person of being weird because clearly they would have to be, right? I then hoped that the person sending the request wasn't related to the person I had just emailed because that would be awkward. It reminded me of the time we had a couple over for dinner and I told story after story of a complete whacko I know (they are the funniest stories ever but alas, I think the whacko reads my blog so they will remain unwritten). I didn't mention any names even though there was little to no chance the couple would know her. Daniel was listening in on the conversation and kept begging to know who it was. I told him it didn't matter but he wouldn't let it go so I finally just told him who it was (I would never make a good spy for that very reason). The wife spoke up and told me that the whacko was her cousin. At first I though she was joking but no she was not. Not good but not as bad I think as when Daniel carried on for 20 minutes about how ugly fake brick is on a house as we drove his friend home only to arrive at her home and yes you guessed it, it was covered in fake brick. I guess foot in mouth disease is hereditary.

BLUSH MAGNET

2011-06-15T07:25:00.003-04:00

This is why a friend suggested that I title my blog Blush Magnet.

Daniel sent this clip to me from the Australian version of the Today Show. Watch to the end. Funny, funny, funny.

UNFRIENDED

2011-06-13T21:35:00.000-04:00

I was chatting with a friend the other day when she revealed to me that she had just recently been "unfriended" on facebook by a close family friend after a bit of drama between the two. We laughed. I confessed that I too had been a victim of being unfriended three times in the past. I am not talking about someone paring down their friend list by removing a person they don't know well but rather a purposeful removal of a name because they are mad at the person.

I am not quite sure what the desired result is when someone unfriends me but if they are hoping to hurt my feelings it has an entirely opposite effect. It usually results in me calling a couple of friends to enjoy a good laugh together about it. I think it's hilarious because it's just so.... so.... juvenile I guess. I get that the person doesn't want me knowing any of their business etc. but seriously if things are that bad between us, why would I even care to know their business? Anyway I am a master facebook stalker, I could so totally find pictures, and updates of my unfriend if I wanted. So if you get mad at me, go ahead and unfriend me, I either won't even notice or I'll have a good laugh. Either way, I win.

A HILL, A HEEL, AND A SKIRT

2011-06-12T23:44:00.000-04:00

This past week our lovely daughter-in-law Emily graduated from Sheridan Tech with a degree in advertising. Unfortunately she was only allowed two guests for the graduation ceremony so we weren't able to attend, apparently Ian and I aren't the two most important people in her life, what's with that? All joking aside, we are proud of her and her accomplishment. Congratulations Emily! By the way, isn't that a great picture of Emily and her little niece Ava?

Though I wasn't able to go to Emily's graduation, I was able to attend the graduation of another young woman. I have to say it was the highlight of my week and not for the reasons you might think. The ceremony was long but the speakers were great so the time passed fairly quickly. The fun began after the ceremony when we went outside to take pictures. Cora stood atop a small hill while I took her picture and then she called for her mom to pose with her for a few photos. Her mom bent down to put her bottle of water and her purse on the ground. This is when the heel of her shoe got caught in her skirt. When she stood back up her elastic waisted skirt slipped down at the back exposing her underwear. As she tried to pull her skirt back up the heel of her shoe stuck fast and up went her foot knocking her off balance and down she went head over heels down the hill underwear even more exposed. Fortunately (?) there were a lot of people around and a few kindhearted souls rushed to her rescue because Cora and I were laughing so hard we could barely move. I did manage to take a few pictures because that's the kind of caring friend I am. I truly am surprised that I am not the most absolutely popular person I know.

"I suppose you're going to call and tell everybody about this." she said to me as I dropped her off at home.
"No" I replied "I'm going to blog about it."
I quickly rolled the window up so I couldn't hear her reply.

Congratulations Cora!

BIRTHDAY BOY

2011-06-07T22:11:00.000-04:00

My biggest fear for Matthew when he was young was that he would grow up to bilk little old ladies out of their life savings. That boy had charm and knew how to use it, he could sell sand to a nomad. His powers of persuasion have gotten me into a trouble on more than one occasion. I remember him telling me to watch as he convinced a lady to break her own rule of not making any changes to a billeting list at a youth conference so that he could stay at the same place as his friends. I had already seen a number of youth try the same ploy to no avail. It took Matthew all of five minutes to accomplish his mission. At high school he often talked teachers into giving him a higher mark than was originally granted him. The boy had some serious skills.

My fears of him bilking old ladies were unfounded (as they usually are, must be a mother thing) and he has turned into an amazing young man who honours his wife, adores his children, and is quick to help others. He has an amazing sense of humour and even though he no longer tries to get me to laugh at inappropriate times (I miss that) he still likes to make me laugh. I couldn't be prouder of him.

Happy Birthday Matthew!

TRUE STORY

2011-06-06T22:41:00.000-04:00

My brother-in-law was just telling me about his neighbor across the street and the run in he had with a would be intruder the other week.

The neighbor (a former Navy Seal) and his wife were sleeping one night and the wife woke up to the sound of someone trying to break into the house. She woke her husband who immediately jumped out of bed and grabbed his shotgun. He quickly ran down the stairs, out the side door and around the corner to discover that indeed there was somebody trying to pry open the patio door (stupid). He put his gun to the back of the head of the would be intruder and told him to get down on the ground. The burglar immediately complied (smart) and the homeowner placed his foot on the intruder's back and yelled at his wife to call the police. The police quickly arrived and took the would be burglar into custody. The homeowner stood chatting to the police giving an official statement for their records when his wife came out to join him. "Dear" she said "you may want to go inside and put something on."
In all the excitement he had failed to realize that he wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing.
True story.

RHYME TIME

2011-06-04T09:30:00.002-04:00

Another Jeopardy category for you.

A. The congressman recently caught with his pants down was showing off this.

Q. What is Weiner's wiener?

This is a picture of a congressman from New York whose last name is Weiner. Last week someone supposedly hacked his twitter account and sent a picture of a wiener (not the hot dog but the male anatomy kind) to a young female follower.

Check out the video here. In the interview he will not say with certitude if the wiener is in fact his nor will he divulge why he did not involve the FBI in the matter. Perhaps it is because the FBI are too busy looking into the terrorist cell hacking my blog for their nefarious purposes.

ANALYTICS

2011-05-31T23:18:00.000-04:00

If you thought a terrorist cell was checking out your blog, would you report it to the FBI, CIA,MI5 or Canada's less well known intelligence agency the CSIS? hmmm... I wonder if the agents are called Csissies 'cause that would be like an oxymoron right?... well trimmed men with jacked up abs trained in hand to hand combat being called sissies. I digress.

I was looking at the analytics on my blog and noticed that I had a number of hits from places like India, Sri Lanka, and the UK. I like to pretend that I am a semi famous blogger whose blog is read all over the world (it kind of is if you count the odd friend I have living or traveling overseas) but I noticed something interesting about the statistic... all the hits were for the same page...the one that included a picture of a nuclear bomb going off. Have I stumbled upon something? Am I about to thwart a dastardly plan to blow up the USA? Is a SWAT team going to come crashing through the windows at any moment to confiscate my computer? Will a black sedan with dark tinted windows drive up slowly next to me while its occupants jump out and grab me off the street in broad daylight? Has my imagination run away with me again? Most probably but if I go missing, you'll know why.

TIME FOR A CHANGE

2011-05-31T13:23:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine has graciously offered to redesign my blog for me. How cool is that? I think it's pretty amazing that:

I know someone that can even do that (most of my friends don't even know what a blog is and I completely lose them when I suggest they follow me on a reader).
She offered to do it....for free even!

My dilemma? As this friend pointed out, the panic is long over and perhaps it was time to change the title to something that reflects my blog more appropriately. I had been thinking about this myself for quite a while but since it wasn't a pressing matter, I didn't devote serious time to it.

So here's some suggestions I've been given

.- Blush Magnet
- It happened. Believe it.
- I don't make this stuff up.
- Much Stranger than Fiction
- I'm Not Kidding
- Fionna's Believe it or Not (written in the Ripley's font, to tease)
- Awwwkward.
- The Insider's Guide to Awkwardness
- Bloopers are My Business

- Not your ordinary Mormon Mom Blog

- Making life funny. (This is a suggestion from someone who thinks it's funny because it is almost an acronym for MILF, as if I don't know what that means.)

I am open to suggestions or you can let me know your favourite from above. An awesome prize goes to the namer of my blog so be sure to leave your name with your suggestion.

SUGAR AND SPICE

2011-05-30T11:36:00.000-04:00

I was afraid that growing up in the midst of four boys, my little girl would be a tomboy. That was a waste of time. I couldn't have asked for a more girly girl. In fact, our neighbor used to call her his 'little pink lady'. One day upon seeing her in a little dress that wasn't pink he commented to her that he was surprised that she didn't have any pink on. She promptly lifted her dress to proudly show off her pink knickers.

She may not have been a tomboy but having four brothers taught her to stand up for herself. In grade four she wrote a letter of apology to her teacher after having been caught sharing a note with a friend that included some unkind language about another girl. She explained in the letter to the teacher that she had not learned the language at home but from the teacher herself, and in grade two after hearing that her older brother was being bullied by a rather large kid she approached the boy in the school yard and told him him "Stay away from my brother you fat b@$*#!" I didn't find it funny at the time but I laugh about it now. That girl had moxie.

She has a really soft and tender side too, quick to give a hug when needed and always ready with a listening ear. She is fiercely loyal to her friends, and family, especially her brothers and now her husband and daughter. She values her role as a mother and is attentive and gentle with her daughter.

She has a brilliant sense of humour and we have shared more laughs together than any mother and daughter should (that's a hint that it's often inappropriate).

She is a smart and confident young woman and I'm proud to call her my daughter.

Happy Birthday Brittany!

QUOTABLE QUOTES (YOU WON'T SEE THESE ON JEOPARDY)

2011-05-29T22:58:00.002-04:00

My favourite quotes of the week.

WIlliam playing with a little pirate figurine.
Me: "Is that the evil pirate Will?"
William: "No!"
Brittany: "It's One Eyed Willie!"
Silence.
Brittany in her best pirate voice: "One Eyed Willie is after me booty!"
We looked at each other and literally fell on the floor laughing (it helped that we were already on the floor). William laughed too but didn't get it. If you don't either, well good for you.

Emily and I playing a game on the xbox Kinect.

Me: "We're the first to play this level. Let's try and get gold"
Emily: "Okay."
We played the level.
Me: "Hey, we got platinum!"
Emily: "Is that better than gold?"
She's a college graduate.

I stopped by Kere and Matthew's the other day just after William had gotten into a little trouble.

William: " I cut a hole in my underwear."
Me: "You did?
William: "Yep, with mommy's scissors."
Me: "That was naughty."
William: "Why did people make my underwear out of string?"

There's never a dull moment around here.

LAST TIME

2011-05-25T21:15:00.000-04:00

Just one last post on the whole Rapture (end of the world) thing. I have been enjoying some of the photos I've seen floating around the internet after the prophecy fail.

Original billboard.

One that went up the next day,

Recycling a poster.

Even Fox News got in on the fun.

This should read 9:30 in Newfoundland. Get your time zones right lady.

If I had been smart, I would have made this t-shirt to wear on Sunday.

I am done now with poking a bit of fun at the gentleman who wrongfully predicted the end of the world. I am sure he is a really nice man and I know he truly believed that he was doing us good by warning us of our impending doom. He and his followers spent a lot of money to do just that.

The world didn't end as predicted but it certainly wouldn't hurt to be a little kinder to those we come in contact with and do what we can to make this world a better place.

I was going to say that I would start by no longer mocking others but who am I kidding. Look what I just wrote.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

2011-05-21T21:43:00.000-04:00

I had it wrong yesterday. According to the eBible Fellowship the actual end of the world will occur on October 21st. I copied this time line from their website:

2011 AD—On May 21^st, Judgment Day will begin and the rapture (the taking up into heaven of God’s elect people) will occur at the end of the 23-year great tribulation. On October 21^st, the world will be destroyed by fire (7000 years from the flood; 13,023 years from creation).

So really, today (May 21st) was for the elect to be taken up to heaven. In case you are wondering, I am writing this from home and not from cloud number nine or any other cloud for that matter. I am sure you must be pretty worried because if I am still here (I am near to elect, well in my mind anyway) then your chances may be slim to none. I guess when it comes down to it, if you are here, you were just not good enough. I take comfort in the fact that it's all a load of bunk anyway.

Well, I'm off to go find Ian, I haven't seen him all day. Ian?.... Ian?.... IAN???

APOCALYPSE.... TOMORROW

2011-05-20T22:09:00.000-04:00

Apparently the world is supposed to end tomorrow (May 21st, 2011) at 6:00 PM. I don't know where the 6:00 PM thing came from (actually I don't know where the May 21st came from either for that matter). My question is this, is that Greenwich Mean Time or is it EST or MST? What about New Zealand and Australia? They are almost a whole day ahead of us. Does the world end on the 22nd for them? Anyway, I'd kind of like to know so I can make plans for my day. Why bother taking meat out of the freezer to thaw when I won't even be using it. Yeah, I don't have to make dinner! Do I really believe the world will end tomorrow? No, not at all, but today I ate my favourite potato chips and enjoyed my favourite chocolate bar and I am about to go have a bowl of my favourite ice cream completely guilt free. I suggest you do the same. Eat whatever you want, neglect your bills, your taxes, heck don't even bother showing up to work on the 21st. You may as well enjoy what could be your last day on earth. I'd write more but I don't want my ice cream to melt.

TWO SHOP OR NOT TWO SHOP?

2011-05-19T22:11:00.000-04:00

There was a time when I loved to go grocery shopping( I know, I'm weird), it was my night out when the kids were little and I got to spend money... guilt free! That all changed when the kids were teenagers and it became a never ending chore. There was the odd occasion when I could convince Ian to take on this odious task and it was always met with varying degrees of success. The lists I would send with him may as well have been written in encrypted code and my pleas to stick strictly to the list fell on deaf ears. He has gotten better over the years and no longer brings home twenty cans of something we will never eat just because said item was on clearance. "Can you believe how cheap this is?" he would ask. I hated to crush the enthusiasm and pride in his deal finding skills so I would bite my tongue and shake my head in disbelief that the grocery store would be so generous as to sell high quality no name spam for just fifty cents a can. I have not however been able to curb his propensity for purchasing expensive items such as cherries out of season and tins of Belgian chocolate biscuits. I have to admit I enjoy sending him out for a few items at Christmas time just so I can see what unexpected goodies he will bring home. He never disappoints.

Today we went grocery shopping together. I learned a couple of things.
1. I need to drive the cart, is that the right term? I know cart etiquette(and there is a certain etiquette) and the route through the store. Ian does not.
2. Ian rearranging the items in the cart as I put them in drives me crazy, I didn't tell him though because I'm a fairly decent wife. It is a wonder though that in the more than thirty years that I have done all the grocery shopping, I have managed to make it home without crushed bread or broken eggs...nay, it is a near miracle. How did I (and the food) survive all these years without him?

ME & TIRED

2011-05-15T17:37:00.002-04:00

I don't function that well when I haven't had enough sleep. My family would agree and say I get cranky but really I don't, I tend to get quiet (mostly because I am busy biting my tongue because just about everything they do drives me crazy). Fortunately for all of us, I usually manage to get adequate sleep except for when Ian is away like he was last night. It is then that my hyperactive imagination kicks into high gear and my sleep is fitful to say the least. Needless to say I was a little tired today.

While chatting to a young friend at church this morning I noticed she seemed a little down and not her usual bubbly self. I asked her "Why so glum?" My son Matthew answered for her "She has a pretty legitimate reason."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, her dad died yesterday"
I knew that.

Later in the day, I took three of my grandkids to a birthday celebration for a one year old. They had a great time and were especially thrilled when they received a little bag of goodies each to come home with. I piled them into the car and was half way to their house when I heard a little voice from the back of the van.
"Uh oh Nona, I'm not buckled in!'
I immediately stopped the van and buckled William in. He is usually so good at reminding us if he is not properly buckled into his seat but I think he was distracted with his bag of goodies.
"hmmm" I said "do you think we should tell mommy and daddy about this?"
"I'm telling them as soon as I get home!" was his reply.
Apparently, I wasn't getting away with it.
It was when I turned the corner onto the street they live on that I realized that I hadn't buckled Maia into her car seat either.
Imagine how excited I was to go in and make that confession to their parents.

I'm laying low for the rest of the day.

MOTHER'S DAY MEMORIES PART 2

2011-05-07T07:58:00.002-04:00

Note to self: Do no write a blog right before bedtime.

After writing last night's post, I had a dream that I was in Wal-mart talking on my cell phone when I spotted a lady walking around the store smoking a cigarette. I was shocked! Other people were just giving her dirty looks but I felt I needed to say something so I told the person I was on the phone with to hold for a second and proceeded to tell the lady off. She told me to mind my own business. I threatened that I would call security and she hurried off while I shouted after her to hold on for a second all the while trying to pull the camera up on my cell phone. I even yelled to her "Wait! I need to get a picture for my blog."

Now on to the real subject of this post.

On the Saturday before Mother's Day when Adam was six, I was left home alone with our three oldest boys while Ian and Brittany attended his sister's wedding in Utah (Brittany was under two so could fly for free). I was about eight months pregnant with our youngest and feeling every bit as tired as you would expect (especially when you consider my husband left me alone... on Mother's Day... with three little boys). The day was sunny and warm so I suggested to the boys that we have a little picnic lunch in the back yard. The two younger ones were thrilled at the idea but Adam wanted no part of it. Democracy rules in our house ~~when the vote swings in my favour~~ so a picnic it was to be. Adam was not happy and no amount of cajoling could convince him otherwise. I busily prepared our lunch while he sulked. I washed and cut up fruit and made a platter of sandwiches with the crusts cut off even. I asked Adam to take the tray of sandwiches out to the picnic table for me. I opened the door for him and went to the sink to make up some drink. I watched from the window as Adam walked half way to the picnic table, stop, then deliberately turn the platter upside down spilling all the sandwiches onto the ground. I lost it. You would not have believed a pregnant woman could move so fast. I was out that door and right behind him almost before the last sandwich hit the ground and I am not proud to say that I nearly lifted him off his feet when my hand hit his backside all the while berating him for being so naughty. It was at this point that I heard someone clearing their throat right behind me. I turned in shock to discover a delivery man holding out a bouquet of flowers. "Happy Mother's Day?" I still cringe when I think of it now.

MOTHER'S DAY MEMORIES

2011-05-06T23:41:00.000-04:00

I have had a few memorable Mother's Days over the years. There was the year it wasn't even acknowledged (I gave my family the silent treatment for three days until I realized they either didn't notice or were enjoying the silence entirely too much) and then there was the year I had to make dinner because the boys and their father were watching the NBA play offs and totally forgot (yeah right) that they were in charge of the meal making. There are two particular years however that stand out in my memory and that I deem blog worthy. The first occurred when Matthew was about fourteen. Steaks had been purchased to celebrate the day and I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be grilling them because Ian refused to go near the barbecue (he'll barbecue now if I light it first). To my surprise, Matthew announced that he was going to do the grilling and I was to just sit and relax. What a sweetheart. I was feeling a little trepidatious though as Matthew had never really used the barbecue unsupervised before.

"When you light the barbecue you have to be sure..."

"Mom, I know how to light it."

"You need to make sure though..."

"Mom, I know what to do."

"But I just want to make sure that you..."

"Mom trust me, I know what I am doing."

"I know but the igniter isn't..."

"Mom, I know what I'm doing!"

Out the door he went with Nathan following right behind him.

Two minutes later the door flew open and Nathan ran in, breathless.

"Mom!" he yelled "You should see Matthew."

I jumped from my chair and ran to the door and almost ran into Matthew coming back inside, hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes singed.

When I regained control of my laughter, I cooked the steaks. I laughed for days afterwards until his eyebrows and eyelashes grew back in. I know you're probably judging me right about now after all what kind of mother laughs at her son almost having his face blown off? The same kind of mother that... oh wait, that's tomorrow's post.

SO THE SAYING GOES

2011-05-05T21:08:00.000-04:00

In honour of Mother's Day this weekend I took some old adages and changed them to reflect my experiences as a mother to four rambunctious boys and one sweet little girl. No comments on the do.

Silence is golden. - Silence is trouble in the making.
A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. - A spoonful of sugar makes the kids bounce off the walls.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - An ounce of prevention means locking away crayons and scissors.
A closed mouth gathers no foot. - A closed mouth is hiding tiny choke inducing objects.
A job worth doing is worth doing well. - A job worth doing is going to be done by the mom.
A rolling stone gathers no moss. - A rolling stone smashes windows.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever. - A thing of beauty won't last long.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Early to bed and early to rise just about kills a young mother.
Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings. - Every time a bell rings it's probably an angry neighbour.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. - Hell hath no fury like a tired two year old.
Hard work never hurt anybody. - Hard work apparently kills teenagers.
If it ain't broke don't fix it. - If it ain't broke, it soon will be.
The more the merrier. - The more the scarier.
You snooze, you lose. - You snooze, you'll pay for it.

There is no job more ~~exasperating~~ rewarding in the whole world. How very lucky I am to have 5 of the most wonderful people on the planet for my children.

SIGNS

2011-04-29T19:32:00.000-04:00

Being the kind Christian person I am I usually do not mock other churches, other people maybe but not other churches. When I saw this sign outside a local church however, I just had to stop and take a picture.

Seriously? I'll be taking that as a sign that I won't be attending this church.

CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE?

2011-04-27T22:55:00.000-04:00

I am sure you have played a Spot The Difference game at some time or another in your lifetime. I like to play my own version of it here at home. I change something in the house and wait to see how long it takes Ian to notice it. So when he was gone a couple of weeks ago I took this...

and painted it to look like this....

Notice that I even changed out the hardware.

This little table and matching mirror (not shown) sit right next to a closet that Ian uses every single day. It has been an entire week. He still hasn't noticed.

A PIERCING QUESTION

2011-04-27T09:58:00.000-04:00

What is it with all the piercings I see on young and not so young people I encounter from day to day? I can't for the life of me understand why someone would want to do this to themselves...

Really? Forget for a moment the one through the bridge of the nose, is the other a remnant of where his father stapled his nose to his homework? or is it a DIY project gone awry? You would expect to see this in a hospital emergency room, not the mall.

And this one has HOT written all over it....

...not. Is that an underwear line above the piercing, 'cause if it is, it just doubled that guy"s sexiness.

What possessed this man (at least I hope it's a man) to do this...

I sure hope it was worth the pain. Do girls even like this? Am I going out on a limb here when I say "gross"?

I'm sorry honey but I don't think a piercing is going to make that belly any more appealing.

There are some things you just don't want to draw attention to.

Last night I saw a version of this....

...on a larger not very attractive girl. Perhaps she was trying to draw attention away from her face. Sorry that was just mean, true but mean.

Perhaps they did not get those piercings on their own volition.

"I was just walking along minding my own business when this giant shiny thing appeared in the sky. Next thing I know, boom!, I wake up with this thing in my ear."

Yes, that explains it, Human Tagging by aliens.

Don't get me started on tattoos.

OH WHAT A NIGHT!

2011-04-26T00:09:00.000-04:00

My day started before seven this morning when I heard two of my lovely grandchildren up running around. How is it possible that a twenty five pound two year old and a thirty five pound four year old can manage to sound like a whole herd of elephants? Apparently they were trying to be quiet. FAIL

Soon after, I heard the one year old crying so I got her and discovered that she was not feeling well and wanted nothing to do with anybody but me. This can quite often be the case even when she is not sick and I usually find it endearing but after a weekend with eight adults in the house and four children under the age of four, I really wanted to get my home back in some semblance of order. FAIL

I babysat all three of my grandkids today and despite the baby being sick, it went quite well especially while Nathan and Emily were here helping to entertain the older two while I tended to the baby, that is until tonight when all three of them decided they weren't going to bed without a fight. I went up two flights of stairs no less than seven times giving at least six stern warnings. FAIL

When it seemed that all the kids were settled I grabbed a spoon from the kitchen and a carton of Kit Kat ice cream from the freezer and drowned my sorrows in the delicious taste Kit Kat suspended in creamy chocolate ice cream. There was no bowl involved, yes you read it right, judge me if you must and yes I know it has like a kijillion calories but at that point I couldn't have cared less and besides I had gone up two flights of stairs seven times...seven times people! I guess now that I have eaten straight from the carton, I can't really allow anyone else to have any. WIN

THE DOORS (NOT THE ROCK BAND)

2011-04-24T22:52:00.000-04:00

Now that we've been married for 30 years ~~there's not much left to argue over~~ we rarely ever argue. We will however have a debate every now and again over things that are ~~extremely important~~ generally benign. Like the numbering of our garage door remotes. We have a four car garage and unlike most Canadians, we do keep cars in our garage. Why does the typical Canadian family cram their garage full of junk and park their car on the driveway to be covered in snow? but I digress....

So back to our remotes...there are four of them and each one differs slightly from the others. Ian knows which one is his so there is never a problem until he wants to use my car. I thought I had solved the problem when I took my handy dandy label maker and labelled all the remotes one through four.

Ian: "Which remote is for which door?"

Me: "I didn't think it could be any clearer, remote number one for door number one."

Ian: "Which is door number one?'

Thus began our debate.

I ~~correctly know~~ think that the doors should be numbered left to right (just like reading) as you come up the driveway.

Ian ~~ridiculously~~ believes that the doors should be numbered in ascending order starting with the door closest to the house.

~~Obviously~~ surely you'll agree with me. I guess it doesn't really matter either way because 1. The remotes are already marked and I am not worried about Ian changing them because he doesn't know how to use the label maker and 2. If more of you agree with Ian, I will not be divulging that information with him. I will however be sure to tell him time and again that more agree with me.

H IS FOR....

2011-04-20T22:03:00.000-04:00

HORRENDOUS
HORRIBLE
HORRID
HIDEOUS
HELLISH

I often make changes while Ian's gone because quite frankly he prefers to be away when there is going to be mess and disruption. This year I decided I would paint our bedroom. We had painted our guest bedroom last summer and I quite liked the colour and thought a similar colour would go well in our room. We have two very large windows in our bedroom and so when I held up the paint chip in the natural light it was the shade I thought I wanted. I was even afraid it would look almost white. It was supposed to be an almost silver colour with just a hint of lilac and I mean just a hint. It looks like a purple peep threw up on the walls. If I had time I would have changed it before Ian got back but seeing as he is supposed to be arriving home in an hour... What was I thinking?

This is pretty much the colour of my room. I'm off to cry in my pillow.

IT MEANS WHAT?

2011-04-19T12:31:00.002-04:00

As Brittany read my post from yesterday she laughed out loud which kind of confused me because there wasn't really anything that funny in it.

"Mom!" she said "you should not have put 'eat out' on there."

"What?...why not?"

"Don't you know what it means?"

Now I thought I was pretty knowledgeable in these things, after all I know what MILF means and the alternate meaning to 'tossing a salad' (trust me, you do not want to know) but 'eating out' was new to me. So to clear up any confusion, when I used the term 'eating out' I was referring to the fact that Ian was indeed going out to a restaurant to have dinner.

LOVE NOTES

2011-04-18T21:07:00.000-04:00

I love that my husband

thinks I am a genius when it comes to putting things together, setting up the surround sound, using the DVD player, and working anything electronic.
~~puts up with~~ appreciates my quirky sense of humour.
honours my role as mother and now grandmother.
encourages me to do things he finds totally ridiculous, like bungee jumping.
allows me to be my own person.
doesn't get mad when I laugh at his foibles.
is super organized.

I love that

he may not notice right away that I've changed the colour of a room but he instantly notices when I clear off the top of the microwave/fridge/bar.
he makes pancakes for the grandkids when they stay over. They love it!
breakfast is the only meal he can prepare with aptitude.
he shines the tires on the cars (I'm talking about the black part) He's the only person I know that does that but there must be others because there is an actual product for it.
I never, ever have to pick up after him. He wishes he could say the same for me.

I can't think of a more perfect man to go through life with. Happy 30th Anniversary Ian!

Now you know how perfectly wonderful my husband is but I can't let it be all one sided so let me tell you how wonderful I am (although I think you already know except for those who aren't talking to me after yesterday's post). While I am sitting here writing this post in the semi frozen north (because apparently Spring didn't get the memo that it's supposed to be here) my husband is golfing in warmer climes, getting a tan, having a massage, and eating out, all on our 30th anniversary... without me..and I am not even complaining, not one little bit because I am a super awesome wife like that.

LETTING THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG

2011-04-17T08:22:00.000-04:00

If you did not read yesterday's post go here first or this will not make much sense at all!

So I get the feeling you are all dying to know what was in that lady's shopping bag and whether or not it was worth the 20 dollars she stole from me....

I opened the bag and there was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. It was a stick about the length and width of a standard size ruler with an elastic cord on one end. On the other end of the elastic was a plastic leg, yes leg, and apparently you pull on the leg in much the same way as I am pulling on your leg right now. *smile* Happy Belated April Fool's Day. I am wondering if I will have any friends left after this. I know, I am evil. I couldn't help myself and I just knew that if I had posted this on April first, too many of you would have guessed what I was up to. Brittany says I'm lucky that no one can reach out and slap me over the internet. When I saw how many hits I got on this post yesterday, I started to worry that it might go viral and I would end up on Ellen or something and that would just cause major problems in my family because which kid would I take as my guest without upsetting the others?

I really did believe that this was only going to be read by just a few people and I could feel it spiralling out of control when I realized others were reposting it. Don't you think that's payback enough.. the worry it caused me...the fear of retribution?

Don't feel bad if you got sucked in, judging from all the comments I got, you're not the only one.

I have a feeling I'm in trouble.

WHO DOES THAT?

2011-04-16T12:53:00.002-04:00

This morning Brittany and I went in to town to run a few errands which basically means we went to Wal-mart ( a shocker I know to think that I would ever shop at Wal-mart). As we waited in line for the shopper ahead of us to finish paying for her purchases, I pulled out my debit card in preparation to pay for the few items I had on the conveyer belt. On the drive in to town, Brittany had given me a 20 dollar bill to pay me for some diapers I had picked up for her the day before and instead of putting it in my wallet, I just threw it into my purse. There is a reason I am telling you all this because you see, as I pulled my wallet out of my purse, that 20 dollar bill fell out on to the floor where the lady ahead of me picked it up and instead of handing it to me she put it in her pocket! At first I thought she was joking with me and gave a half laugh until I realized she was serious. To say I was shocked is an understatement.

Me: "Excuse me, that's my twenty dollars you just picked up."

Her: "No it isn't."

Me: "Yes it is, it just fell out of my purse."

Brittany: "That's my mom's money."

I looked at the cashier for help but she just shrugged her shoulders and apologized that she hadn't seen any of it transpire.

Me:"I'd like my money back please!"

Her: "It's not yours, it's mine."

Me: "Are you serious? I can promise you that it's mine."

Her: "Does it have your name on it?"

Me: "What?...NO!, I don't go around writing my name on my money."

Her: "Then how can you prove it is yours?"

With that she turned and walked away. I stood there shocked (and ticked, I might add). Seriously who does that? Brittany urged me to have security called but the woman was almost out the door already and really, how could I prove it was mine. It was at this point that I realized that the woman had left behind one of her shopping bags, you know the kind that is reusable and is certainly distinguishable from the grey plastic bags that Wal-mart uses? Just as I finished paying for my stuff and with Brittany badgering me to do something about the situation, I saw the woman marching back toward the counter. Aha, she had realized that in her haste to get away she'd left her bag behind! Too bad for her. I picked up her shopping bag and slung it over my shoulder.

Her: "That's my shopping bag you have there!"

Me: " Um...Does it have your name on it?

Her: "NO!"

Me: "I didn't think so."

I left the store with a huge smile on my face. I couldn't have cared less if her shopping bag contained 2 dollars worth of stuff or 200 dollars. We hightailed it to the car and took off before anyone could call us back laughing the whole way and yes, I did keep the bag.

Now I know you are wondering what was in the bag but I haven't taken any pictures of the loot yet so it will have to wait until tomorrow. For those of you whom I have talked to today and related this story, don't spoil it for the rest. It really requires a picture to do it justice.

WHO LOVES YA BABY?

2011-04-15T17:05:00.000-04:00

I was driving in the car today with my one and only daughter and as I looked over at her, I experienced an overwhelming feeling of love.

My thought process:

"I should tell her I love her...yeah but that's going to sound weird though... I mean we've been driving in silence for the past ten minutes... still, if I have these feelings I should express them even if she will think it's strange.... people don't say 'I love you' enough so I should just say it.... yeah but she's definitely going to think its weird... it's just out of the blue...she's going to wonder what brought this all on...just say it already... okay well here goes. "

"I love you Brittany."

"Awww thanks mom, I love you too."

Silence.

"Where on earth did that come from?"

I knew it.

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

2011-04-12T15:44:00.000-04:00

Every now and again I find myself wishing I could go back and live in a simpler time and then I see things like this.

I'd be up for this if there was an ipad on it but seriously, kitchen appliances? and crying? If only it were that easy.

This ad tells moms that their kids will be cool as teenagers if they start their kids drinking soda early. Yeah, they'll be cool alright...and fat...and diabetic...and have a mouth full of cavities, but they'll be cool.

I sho' hope for Rastus that the NAACP started up not long after this ad appeared.

Well I have to admit that in my house, cooking is my job but only because I can't stomach the grey scrambled eggs my husband would serve otherwise. I wonder if this ad campaign had another that said"The Chef does everything but clean up after itself-that's what wives are for!" Daniel will love this ad.

I like how this ad is sure to point out that the revolvers are not toys yet they show a little girl playing with one. I guess at least they are not being sexist. All guns should be made this way. No husband would be able to say "I was cleaning my gun when it accidentally went off and killed my wife...while she was sleeping in bed." If we ever get a gun (and we won't) it will be one of these. I really do have to stop watching Tru TV.

SIGNS

2011-04-11T14:20:00.000-04:00

After my last post a friend asked if I had seen the movie Signs. My answer to that question is yes and just recently too. That would explain why I was ~~totally~~ slightly freaked out when our baby monitor receiver made some crackling noises when there was nobody else in the house except my husband who was sound asleep (I checked). I wasn't brave enough to go upstairs and investigate the source of the noise but crossed my fingers and actually hoped that it was a mouse wandering around looking for something good to eat. My paranoia increased a notch or two as in the light of day I worked up enough courage to go into the room with the baby monitor only to discover that the monitor wasn't even plugged in. Great, just when I was starting to feel comfortable about staying in the house by myself when Ian is away. I immediately went downstairs and unplugged the receiver. I keep reminding myself that I do have an overactive imagination and that I need to use the logical side of my brain more often. Easier said than done. Just ask my boys about making them run all the way home from the movie theatre with me upon hearing some rustling in the bushes after watching Jurassic Park. What?...it was dark... and we'd just finished watching Jurassic Park... and there was rustling... in the bushes... it could have been velociraptors... seriously... it could have been.

NO SAFE PLACE

2011-04-10T22:23:00.000-04:00

I have been good about limiting my time watching Tru TV and The Health Channel except for when Ian's around, then I watch Tru TV.

Me: "I don't know why these men think they can get away with murdering their wives, don't they know that the husband is always the first person the police investigate?"

This is met with silence. Does he not know that this is not a rhetorical question?

I continue "and in an age with so much sophisticated forensic technology, you would have to be stupid to commit a serious crime."

"You would have to be pretty stupid" he agrees. Good, I think he got my point.

So anyway, now that I am limiting my time watching these channels I am left watching the Sci Fi channel. I thought this was a good choice until last week when I was home alone late at night and heard a noise outside. My first thought should have been a raccoon, skunk or deer but no, now I imagine aliens (don't laugh). To my understanding they tend to land in secluded areas and go about what aliens do. I live in a secluded area and who knows, perhaps I am just the kind of specimen aliens are looking for. According to Stephen Hawking, if you should run into an alien you should avoid contact with it. Really? 'cause I thought maybe you would invite it in for tea... herbal of course because I am Mormon and we don't drink tea or coffee.
Let's forget aliens for a second, did you know that there are asteroids flying all around our lovely planet and that it's only a matter of time before we are hit with a big one? I've been to Arizona and seen the huge crater where one hit before. This is not my imagination people. We're basically playing dodgeball with these things and there is no safe place to hide.
Don't worry friends I am not really too worried about the asteroid thing after all there's not much we can do about it anyway, and I don't really believe in aliens unless of course I am home alone late at night.

SIGNS

2011-04-04T21:19:00.000-04:00

Top ten signs that you were a good mother.

You read to your kids almost every night.
You ~~did~~ helped your kids with their homework.
You fed your kids healthy, well balanced meals every day.
You read scriptures and had family prayer almost every day.
You gave your kids lots of praise and affection.
You played with your kids.
You sang to your kids.
You taught your kids manners.
You made sure your kids were clean and well rested.
You taught your kids essential skills.

Top ten signs that perhaps you were not the best mother:

You laughed when your kids told you the mischief they'd been up to.
You paid your kids a quarter to slide down the stairs in a cardboard box.
You laughed when your child took a tumble out of a SLOW moving van.
You told your kids to go play outside but be mindful of bears then snuck around the back of the house and growled loudly.
You made your kids ride on roller coasters even though they were scared just so you didn't have to ride alone.
You encouraged your son to go into a lingerie store and ask to try on the underwear.
You slammed on the brakes and screamed when your kids fell asleep in the car.
You showed up at the school cafeteria on your daughter's 16th birthday in a gorilla costume with a bouquet of balloons and a birthday cake to share.
You fed your son and his friends pancakes with tiny little weevils in them for an April Fool's joke. Your in laws may or may not have been fed them too.
When people called to ~~tattle~~ report your children's misbehaviour, they would ask for their father even though you were the one that answered the phone.

FOOLISH ENDEAVOURS

2011-04-03T23:10:00.000-04:00

I have to say it was quite enjoyable watching my super organized husband search for his glasses and watch on April 1st. I hadn't really planned on pulling a prank on him because by now he's wise to me and it's hard to get him. When I awoke on Friday morning I felt disappointed that I hadn't even attempted a prank, it was then that I spotted his glasses and watch sitting on his nightstand. He puts them there every night before he goes to bed. I could hear him getting out of the shower so I quickly grabbed them and slid them under the covers and pretended to still be asleep. As he walked over to the dresser to get his socks, I opened one eye and mumbled good morning to him. He walked over to his nightstand and wondered aloud about where his watch could be. I pretended to not pay attention. He muttered something about maybe it being in his office and off he went in search of them. I remained in bed giggling under the covers. He soon returned and now realized that his watch was missing too. He looked at me but I played it cool, pretending to be semi comatose (my usual morning persona) and mumbled something about having no clue as to where they'd be. He opened the drawer and then checked the floor beside the bed. He was totally bewildered. He went into the bathroom to see if perhaps he had left them in there the night before. When he came back out, I threw back the blanket to reveal their hiding place. "Happy April Fool's Day"

To end the day, I served my lovely little grandchildren veggies for dinner only they were really Starburst candy I cut and moulded to look like peas and carrots. They have never eaten their veggies so eagerly before.

Did you pull a prank or get pranked for April Fool's?

SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

2011-03-28T10:50:00.000-04:00

Ian and I were away last week and our first item of business when we returned was checking the mailbox. The usual ritual is... I go through the mail and separate it into piles of junk, bills, just for Ian, and just for me. I rarely receive mail just for me other than a number of banks informing me that I am pre-approved for their credit card. They obviously didn't get my message that I am smarter than that.

I was intrigued when I discovered an envelope addressed to me. It was a business envelope (beige, with a little window in the front) and I couldn't decipher who the sender was. My curiosity was piqued. Was it a government check perhaps? I don't know why that thought would even occur to me but apparently unmarked mail equals an unexpected windfall in my mind anyway. It never has before but I remain hopefully optimistic.

Can you feel the excitement building? Are you wondering what wonderful surprise lay within that ordinary looking envelope? Well here it is... ready for it?... a letter informing me that now that I am ~~ancient~~ fifty, it is time to have cancer screening for my colon. That pretty much made my day... not! The enclosed pamphlet provided some entertaining reading material. Apparently there are two ways to screen for colon cancer. The first requires a special kit that you bring home to take three samples (you can guess what of) over the course of ten days. The second requires a visit to the hospital where basically they shove a special camera up your butt to look for signs ( I don't think they mean crop circles). Neither one sounds in the least appealing. I am also left asking questions... who checks the samples? What is their job title? How does that go down on a first date? Is there ever a second date? How long do you have to go to school to become qualified? Yes, I have many questions. Maybe I could apply for that job after all I know crap when I see it!

FURTHER CONFESSIONS

2011-03-25T20:56:00.002-04:00

Here's a big confession although I don't think it will come as a surprise to those who know me well...

I have the maturity of a preteen boy. Remember when you were in school and it was time for "sex education" and the teacher would name a body part only to be met with some snickers form the boys? The "mature" girls would roll their eyes and sigh and one would voice her opinion about the boys needing to grow up. Yeah, that wasn't me. I wasn't even one of the girls mortified that the discussion was being held with boys present. I was pretty much giggling with the boys. The sad thing is, I never really outgrew it. I think it hilarious when my husband says things like "I like to keep it tucked between my legs while I'm driving so it doesn't flop around." (he was referring to a bag of snacks he had) I can't help it, I just start laughing.

"What?" he asked.

"Did you not just hear what you said?" I shot back. He rolled his eyes which made me laugh all the harder.

I once had to leave a Sunday School class because the teacher used the word erected one too many times. I was tired (not a good thing) and my daughter was there (we looked at each other and smiled, again, not a good thing).

So basically I am a twelve year old boy... which would explain why Matt Fuller wants to be my boyfriend.

PERKS

2011-03-25T12:07:00.000-04:00

One of the perks to owning an iphone is that I have a video camera at my disposal at all times which allows me to capture random moments like this...

This was shot at a Best Buy store in Toronto. Nathan decided to try out the xbox Kinnect and I decided to pull out my iphone and capture the moment. What you can't hear (because of my awesome editing skills) is Nathan warning me that I had better be getting some shots of the TV screen so people could see what he was really doing. Things he didn't say:

Don't post it.
Don't blog about it.
Make sure when you edit it, to keep the shots of the TV screen in the movie. (This was impossible because I didn't actually take any video of the TV.)

When my kids would sometimes get in trouble when they were younger a favourite excuse was "Well you didn't tell us NOT to do it." ...and I wonder where they got it from?

CONFESSIONS

2011-03-23T00:31:00.000-04:00

There are some things I don't like about myself... hard to believe, right?...but it's true.

Confession 1:

I am a closet hypochondriac. If I've read about it, I've had it. You name it and I've had at least two or three of the major symptoms. I self diagnose all the time and I am almost positive that I am dying from some terminal disease or another. I have had to ban myself from watching Mystery Diagnosis on the Health Channel. The only reason I am not dead right now is because after a day or two of developing cancer, MS, and a host of other diseases, my miracle body spontaneously heals itself. I am sure if the medical science profession knew of my body's unique healing abilities I'd be in some research hospital right now with a horde of needle wielding nurses hovering over me,so lets keep it on the down low.

Confession 2:

Bad spelling bothers me. I equate spelling with intelligence even though I know that it is not a good indicator. I won't even reply to a kijiji ad if there are blatant spelling mistakes in it. I don't care how much I want the advertised item, that's why I was mortified when this happened. It drove me crazy to think that someone believed I was an atrocious speller. I am a spelling snob.

Confession 3:

I think sometimes that my husband is trying to kill me. He has no idea that I am on to him that is why I have escaped serious harm. Red flags go up when he offers to make dinner. He doesn't/can't cook so I know he's out to poison me. I always make him take the first bite and I switch plates when he's not looking. I always check the brakes first thing when I get into the car too, to make sure they're working. Oh I've seen him out on the driveway supposedly shining the tires (more like slashing the brake lines or at least I know that's what he'd be doing if he knew what a brake line looked like). Did I mention that I suffer from an overactive imagination?... maybe that's where the hypochondria comes from...note to self...stop watching Tru TV. I can't believe I would think such things about my wonderful husband.... but if anything suspect happens to me, show this to the police

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

2011-03-17T12:39:00.000-04:00

In honour of St. Patrick's Day, I thought I would bake some cookies...

these are not them!

Can you believe that a bakery had the nerve to put these on their shelves? I can think of all sorts of little captions to place under that photo but since none of them are appropriate, I will refrain. I know, it's a first but I am trying to be better behaved unless of course I receive enough encouragement. : )

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

2011-03-16T22:03:00.000-04:00

It was a gorgeous ten degrees celsius today, a far cry from the winter snow storm we had just a week ago. Yesterday was almost as nice. It has gotten me excited for summer which is surely just around the corner... right?...right?
In anticipation of summer's arrival, I have just finished sewing a couple of little summer dresses for my two youngest granddaughters. They are so cute and even though they are very similar, believe it or not not one piece of the same material is used in the other. I am not sure which one I like best.

I think that my little model makes the dresses extra cute and the little headband makes her little bald head even cuter than it already is.

CAN YOU TELL?

2011-03-15T22:07:00.000-04:00

Ian and I had dinner tonight at a Japanese restaurant. As we went to the front to pay for our meal, I asked the young Asian lady taking our money if she had any family back in Japan. She looked surprised then said "I'm chinese."
"Oh" I replied "I'm sorry. I just can't .... er... um... I just thought being a Japanese restaurant...yeah, that earthquake was horrible."

I was proud of myself for not blurting out that I just can't tell asians apart. I came this close. She was probably thinking "stupid white woman can't even tell a Japanese person from a Chinese person." She'd be right.

While in Korea, I asked a Korean gentleman if white people all looked the same to him. He admitted that yes we did.

Seriously? We have different coloured hair and eyes!

Can you guess which girl is from where?

SKOOL DAZE

2011-03-11T20:56:00.002-05:00

Since I am on the topic of embarrassing school stories...

I was friends with Brittany's grade 3 teacher so when Brittany had to leave school early to go for a doctor's appointment, I thought I would send a funny note to inform her teacher.

When I picked Brittany up at the school I asked her if Mrs. kay had laughed at my note. It was then that she informed me that she had a substitute that day. Embarrassing yes but still not as bad as yesterday's post.

OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT

2011-03-11T00:03:00.002-05:00

Have you ever done or said something that even years later can cause your cheeks to burn with embarrassment? I had a couple of friends come by for a visit yesterday and something that was said triggered a memory that I shared with them and we all had a good laugh about it but as I was relating the story I could still feel the shame.

The Story

I had gone into Nathan's grade 2 class to volunteer for the morning. It was in early October and as I walked into the room, his teacher was writing Halloween words on large lined paper resting on an easel.

Later in the morning during recess, I began to make small talk with the teacher.

Me: "That's really cute, how you made the kids spelling words all scary looking."

Teacher: " I have Parkinson's Disease."

Awkward!

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES

2011-03-06T21:12:00.000-05:00

So I celebrated a pretty significant birthday a couple of weeks ago. I told Ian that I didn't want a big fuss made and that I preferred to mark the occasion by having dinner with the family which is basically what happened. Some of the evening I am not allowed to blog about or post pictures of, which is a real shame but I will honour the request even though it is practically killing me not to share.

The table all decorated.

Brittany and I spent the day in town while two of my lovely daughters-in-law decorated the dining room, made dinner and prepared a special surprise. I came home to find my sweet little grandchildren all dressed for a special dinner, the dining room decorated with flowers and a digital photo frame all set up with family pictures. The paper flowers on the wall contained words to describe me with the names of the submitters included. Some of the words written weren't all that surprising because after all, I am pretty "amazing" and "wonderful" that was why I was shocked when I found the word "humble" written on one... and why would a nice mormon girl like me find the word "cheater" on one and "thief" on another? Probably because I have "cheated" death a few times and I "stole" my husband's heart. Yeah, that must be it. Actually, there are good stories behind those titles. I have been known to cheat a few times at games but that happened so rarely and only ever when I was losing (that is why it happened so rarely). The thief title came after I took a poster from the toilet stall at the House of Blues advertising a band that was playing the next night. I took it out of it's frame but my accomplice was the one that walked right out of the restaurant with it and her husband had the nerve to say I was a bad influence on her. sheesh!

Flowers sent from Daniel & Olivia

Anyway... it was a great day and I felt very loved by all those who took the time to write a few words describing me. Thank you Olivia for doing all that. The only thing that would have made the day more perfect would have been if Daniel, Olivia, and Adam could have been home for it.

I really would have loved to tell you all about my visit from Jack Sparrow but I have promised not to blog about it (I am probably breaking the rules by even mentioning it but I am bad like that) and none of you would have believed it anyway.

So thank you to all who participated and helped make my birthday so very special.

MINIONS

2011-03-04T21:23:00.000-05:00

After watching the movie Despicable Me (two thumbs way up by the way), I have been thinking about how wonderful it would be to have an army of minions following my every order. Oh the things I could accomplish. Do you have to be evil to have minions?

I had a busy week at Brittany's helping her paint and decorate a couple of rooms in her new house. Since I did most of the work and by most I mean all, I started to call her minion as I requested that she fetch scissors, get me a drink, iron curtains, and clean up my creative mess. It was absolutely wonderful. She didn't dare say no or even complain, after all I was doing this solely for her benefit. Life is good when you have one minion I can't imagine how great it would be to have four or five of them. I need to look into that.

Before

During

After

TALKING A LEEK (PUN INTENDED)

2011-02-24T19:26:00.002-05:00

Last week Matthew came back from Ikea with a stuffed toy vegetable set to match the fruit set that we have for the kids play kitchen. As William pulled all the vegetables out of the basket, Kere did a double take, Matthew looked confused and I burst into laughter. We think it's supposed to be a leek.

I think I'll hide it away in my drawer.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

2011-02-14T15:46:00.002-05:00

Did you know that Ian and I met for the first time on Valentine's Day? (insert Hallelujah Chorus) That was 31 years ago... yes, I am that old... sigh.... but don't worry the romance is still going strong.

I made some lovely lingerie this morning for Ian to enjoy...

The bras...

The Panties...

The set...

The card... (To our most valued customer; Thank you for all your business. Have a "Happy" Valentine's Day. From your friends at Victoria's Secret.)

The gift box.

This all got delivered to him at work today anonymously. I wonder if he'll know who it's from?

Unfortunately for Ian, this collection is no reflection of items to be found in my lingerie drawer.

STAY TUNED

2011-02-12T21:52:00.000-05:00

I have neglected writing this month because:

I was in San Diego (colder than usual but warmer than home).
I've been babysitting a couple of sick kids (Lilah & Maia, the day after I got home).
I've been adjusting to the three hour time difference (not tired at night but the morning is a killer).
I've been lazy (that's the real excuse).

I'll be sure to entertain you with some interesting stories next week. I have a couple of deliciously naughty things planned for Valentine's Day so stay tuned.....

IT'S A LOVE STORY OR COULD BE ANYWAY

2011-01-30T13:24:00.001-05:00

When you make a new friend and she's married the conversation will eventually lead to how she and her husband met. It's a natural question to ask as you get know your new friend better. Most often the answer to that question is rather mundane and not very romantic. Rarer still are the stories of love at first sight, and falling head over heels in love. Our son Nathan and his wife have a pretty cool beginning to their destiny together and being the glory hog that I am, I am not content with just one of those kinds of stories in our family.

So single ladies out there, how cool would it be to tell your friends that you and your future husband met because his mother (me) wrote a blog about her son (Adam) and you plucked up enough courage to write to him to wish him a happy birthday (today) and he wrote back(not very likely because he barely writes me) and it snowballed from there? That would be pretty romantic (or at the very least interesting) right?
So go for it, take the plunge, shoot for the sky, you never know, you just might be the one and what a story you get to tell if you are.

So here's his email address. Have fun! jenneradam@hotmail.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM : )

JANUARY ROUNDUP

2011-01-29T13:05:00.000-05:00

Contrary to some people's read my children's opinion, I do not spend all of my time browsing the internet or playing games on my new ipad. In fact, I sometimes do quite useful things with my time (other than regular housekeeping chores).

I made a quilt for my granddaughter...

a kitchen centre for the grandkids....

a piece of valentine art...

and finally, a little valentine shirt for Lilah...

I confess that I did get all these ideas from browsing the internet. (I am not the creative genius my friends think I am.)

On a different note, look at what I found at our local op-shop...

for the grand total of one dollar. Lilah loves it and I am sure Ava will too.

IT'S HOW COLD?

2011-01-23T15:11:00.000-05:00

I was telling Ian about this video on our way in to town this morning. I was thinking about it only because the thermometer in the car cut out at minus thirty degrees celsius. It just wouldn't read anything lower than that.

Ian told me he thought the video was probably doctored in some way so I told him I would show it to him when we got home and he could see for himself and decide. When we got home later this afternoon, instead of pulling out my laptop and searching for the video, I boiled a kettle of water and took it outside to try it for myself. Guess what? It worked and it was pretty darn cool! I was having so much fun that I almost forgot to save enough hot water for our hot chocolate.
I would post a video or some pictures of my very own but there was no convincing Ian to come outside and oblige me in taking either pictures or video.

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

2011-01-18T23:52:00.000-05:00

It's been cold around here these past few days. I awoke to this the other morning.

When it gets cold like this, I don't want to leave the house so I don't (unless absolutely necessary). Instead I stay inside where it's nice and warm. Sometimes I read by the wood stove, sometimes I play games on my computer, and sometimes I actually do something useful like clean or something boring like that. The past couple of days I have been working on a little project I saw on the internet. I thought it was so cute and had to make one for Ava.

WINTER

2011-01-16T22:03:00.000-05:00

It was -30 degrees celsius outside this morning when I got up. I had almost forgotten what that felt like... almost.
I was reminded of the year my in-laws came and spent an entire winter with us. Being from New Zealand, they had no idea what they were in for. There were a few good laughs over the course of the winter. So to all my kiwi friends, here are some facts about a northern Canadian winter.

Just because there's snow, doesn't mean we can build snowmen or throw snowballs. If it's too cold outside the snow just plain won't stick together. In fact the temperature has to be right around the freezing mark, anything below -10 degrees celsius makes the snow too dry and powdery.

As long as you have enough snow you can ski...

go tobogganing...

or go snowmobiling.

For some people (not me) this is a fun recreational activity. These girls are doing it the good old fashioned way...

Most men do it this way...

wimps! (there are wood stoves in those huts)

The ice on the lake gets thick enough to drive a car on but you need to check first.

We can have weeks on end when the temperature never goes above the freezing mark even during the day!

But that is okay, we have central heating in our well insulated homes. That means we can go from one room to another without freezing our buns off... don't lie Kiwis, you know what I'm talking about.

We drive on snow packed roads most of the winter and think nothing of it,

and just about every Canadian has rolled in the snow in their bathing suit at some point in their life.

So armed with these facts, you can imagine how funny I thought it was when my wonderful mother-in-law was afraid to go for a walk on the frozen lake with me, (I did manage to convince her finally) and when she pointed out to me the fact that it hadn't rained once in the entire two months that she had been there already, (I pointed out to her that the snow that was falling from the sky was basically winter rain) and then the night she asked upon seeing a beautiful pink sunset, if I thought there would be a frost that night. I observed that seeing as how it was already -25 degrees out, it was safe to assume that yes, there would be a frost.

Winter is not my favourite season but I do appreciate its beauty.

I love snow that sparkles like diamonds,

and hoar frosts,

and snow laden trees.

My only problem with winter is that it lasts too long. Oh well, only another 10 or so weeks until spring. (happy dance)

ANY TAKERS?

2011-01-13T18:03:00.000-05:00

For Christmas, we sent Adam some money to buy himself a new winter coat because he had left his old one here at home a whole year ago. He called today from Korea and I asked if he had purchased one yet. He told me no but that he had been looking. He had found one he quite liked but he was waiting to see if he could find something he liked better. It was then that I realized that my hopes of him getting married in the near future are pretty much dashed. He can't even commit to a winter coat let alone a relationship.
"What's so hard about buying a coat?" I asked. "You go shopping, find something you like, and try it on. It fits? great. It looks good on you? wonderful. Others think it looks good on you? bonus. Buy the thing!

Since he is turning 29 in a few weeks I have decided to take matters into my own hands. I am now accepting applications for a potential daughter-in-law. So all you single ladies out there take notice.

He's

handsome
bright
musically talented
kind
mormon
has a great sense of humour

What girl can resist this?

I hope he has enough of a sense of humour to forgive me for this. : )

THE GIFT

2011-01-11T16:01:00.000-05:00

Ian isn't known for his gift giving prowess. I don't hold it against him or show disappointment when he gives a less than stellar gift, after all most men are a bit clueless in that department. In fact most of my friends have complained to me at some time or another that after dropping major hints as to what they would like for their birthday or for Christmas, they are most usually disappointed by what they receive. Let's face it ladies, hints don't work with men. You basically have to spell it out in bold letters for the guys to get it.

Some of Ian's infamous gifts?

A vacuum cleaner. Okay, so we needed one... badly... but a vacuum cleaner?

A garden wagon which just happened to match the riding lawn mower and which I had to put together. His comment? "I know how you like to put things together." um ... Thank you?

A dog training book by the Dog Whisperer for Christmas. Might have come in handy if we had a dog! It prompted a false excitement that we were getting a dog. (Ian knew that I enjoyed watching the show)

Liqueur filled chocolates. Now I know of a few of my friends who would have been happy with those but I don't drink.

These gifts were chosen with a lot of thought and I appreciated both the gifts and the giver. We did need a vacuum and the garden wagon was very handy and much used, the dog training book I was able to pass on to a friend with an unruly dog. I don't think she read it. I can't remember what I did with the liqueur filled chocolates, perhaps ate them in a a moment of weakness brought on by PMS? I most likely passed them on to someone who would enjoy them.

Sometimes, Ian surprises the heck out of me by presenting a gift that exceeds all expectations like the time he took me dog sledding for my birthday. It was an amazing almost death defying experience that I will never forget. This Christmas this is what I found under the Christmas tree...

That's right, an ipad. Months of hinting and begging and imploring paid off. Ian you are honestly the best husband ever and not just because you got me an ipad (but it helps).

THE ANSWERS

2011-01-03T23:39:00.000-05:00

I sent out our annual Christmas newsletter a few days after Christmas. What's new right? Anyway, for those of you that have received it, here are the answers. For those of you that didn't... I am sure it's because you live so far away and your letter is taking it's good old time getting there. This post will make a lot more sense once you receive the letter.

ANSWERS

You got to fill out the newsletter because quite frankly, I thought you would enjoy filling it out yourselves. You got it late because yes, I procrastinated yet again.

I visited New Orleans for the first time this year. I especially enjoyed visiting the French Quarter and I earned enough beads to keep my grandchildren happy for years to come. Okay, I didn't actually "earn" the beads ( Ian got as many as I did). Unfortunately I visit the dentist at least once a year and the cleaning supply aisle in the store even more frequently believe it or not.

Although I give Ian a hard time about colour coordinating his closet, he spent most of his spare time golfing. He doesn't get a whole lot of free time now though with his new calling as a Stake President in our church.

Adam is still living the bachelor life in Seoul Korea. We miss him and want him to move closer. We hoped with all the tension between the north and south (to the point of talking of war), that it would be enough for him to hightail it out of there. At least he calls fairly often.

Matthew and Kere are expecting their fourth baby in July of this year. They are thinking it's going to be a boy but there have been no ultrasounds yet to confirm. I cannot speak for Matthew but Kere is definitely a Harry Potter wannabe.

As much as I'd love to announce that Olivia and Daniel are expecting twins, I cannot. They're not even having one. Slackers! They did move to New Zealand and of course they miss us terribly. They plan on returning sometime later this year. We can hardly wait.

Brittany and Ben bought their first home, a townhouse in Burlington. They will take possession sometime in late January. I get my own room and can decorate it any way I like. I am thinking 70's disco style with black lights. Brittany and Ben welcomed a little girl into their family last September. She is a sweet little thing and even though she is clone of her father, we've decided to accept her anyway.

Nathan married his brother in law's sister which gave him automatic citizenship in Arkansas. He and Emily got new phones which may not seem newsworthy but they are Blackberry Torches which is apparently a big deal. I have discovered that Nathan's newest goal in life is to become a vampire. I think he enjoyed the
"Twilight" series a bit too much. He probably thinks he could win "The Hunger Games" too.

Our four grandchildren do make more mess than a category five hurricane (actually just two of them do)but the fact that they are so cute saves them, and for the record I have never caught them playing in the toilet. That doesn't mean they haven't.

Ian and I both wish you health and happiness and all the best for the coming year.

Those are the answers. How did you do?

Oh, and here are the pictures I promised.

CHRISTMAS 2010

2011-01-03T16:27:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I have let so much time pass between posts. I guess my life just got busy with Christmas preparations? I really don't remember being so busy that I couldn't take a few minutes out of my life to write.

I remember hosting a baby shower for a friend...

and week later, hosting a little craft day with a few friends.

One of the finished products.

Then we celebrated Lilah's first birthday...

and I made these for the little girls to wear on Christmas morning.

The rest of us wore these...

I love that my family humours me in dressing up.

We had a great Christmas holiday mostly spent lazing around watching movies, playing games, and eating way too much junk food.

I loved spending time with these little people...

and these people...

A sign of things to come perhaps?????

Of course I enjoyed spending time with Matthew and Kere too but they were feeling a little camera shy it seems.

Although we missed Daniel, Olivia, and Adam we were able to skype with Daniel and Olivia and talk to Adam on the phone. Hopefully next year we can all be together.

I hope your Christmas was as wonderful as mine.

Happy New Year

AND THE WINNER IS.....

2010-11-16T09:35:00.000-05:00

Ava Fionna Fuller

.... Angela . From the other side of the world she called it although Crystal claims she stole it. (read the comments) And what did she win for her amazing talent of being able to see in to the future? (being incredibly flukey?)

The Book of Awesome

Did I not tell you the winner would receive an "awesome" prize?

Congratulations Angela on your win, and Crystal if you send me your address, I have a consolation prize for you.